Relative Beginnings 1: Big Bang

Chapter 1

YOU MUST KEEP LOOKING. HELP ME, ETHAN! HELP ME!

My dead grandfather screamed in my mind. I sprang up in bed just moments before my alarm clicked off deliberating the morning commute. Grandpa's face burned a white profile onto my darkened room wall. I must have stared into his face all night getting lost in his white beard and soft green eyes. My dreams were rarely remembered but for some reason they lingered over the past few days.

I spoke of him often with one of my best friends, Jessica Casey. You see, my grandfather died several years ago. Just under ten to be exact. Well, we're pretty sure he died. One day we received a call from my frantic grandmother. Grandpa had not returned from work. My dad took the twenty-minute drive to their house by himself and came back later that night. I didn't even have to ask him what happened. His answer came through the whiskey tumbler that he was draining.

The first two weeks after his disappearance were filled with anticipation, excitement, and severe disappointment. The State Patrol stopped by and we were certain they had news of my grandfather. I remember holding my sister's hand which was the only time we ever touched without fighting and I'm sure it was the only time we ever said we loved each other. The State Patrol had no news except that they had called off the search. It was up to the FBI to find him. The news surprised all of us. We thought he was just a typical university professor. Apparently he had been on the government payroll for some time due to his work with particle physics.

After the first year, I still missed him but the knot in my stomach had lost its grip. The anger I felt was real, though. Not having a face or a name to blame for my grandfather being gone, I turned it towards God. I could not understand why a supposedly loving deity would allow so much pain in the world. And to have taken my grandfather, my hero was just too much to bear.

I went on to college and was too busy to worry anymore. He was gone in my mind when I finished college and the choice to live at home close to everything and everybody didn't seem the right thing to do. The draw of mountains, ocean, culture, and rain pulled me to Seattle and I have never looked back. Sometimes a beautiful setting, warm people, and the non-stop adventures of city life can help deaden the pain; but not forever.

I shook the dismal thoughts from my head and got out of bed to start my morning ritual. Just another new day to make my mark on the world. Hopefully a day my grandfather could be proud of.

It was a typically wet morning during the middle part of March. I climbed my way up the hill toward my favorite morning stop. As I turned the corner and lost the smells of the Puget Sound, I noticed a familiar form engaged in her morning smoke in front of the cafe. Emily took an unusually long drag on her cigarette. She brushed her cropped, dirty-blonde hair behind her ear.

"Hey, Eth. Right on time as usual. How are ya this morning," she asked with a thoughtful exhale on her cigarette. Her brown eyes seemed black behind the cloud of smoke.

"Umm...I'm ok," I answered. I consciously realized my eyes were focused on the small pebbles buried in the cement.

"Ah, it's so good to see you my little taciturn customer!" she responded while extinguishing her cigarette and grabbing the door.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Your use of the vocabulary calendars that you get at Christmas seem to be paying off." I began to breathe a little easier as sarcastic banter seemed the best approach for me when talking to girls. Well, anybody for that matter.

"Oh, why Mr. Ethan aren't we a Chatty Cathy today? Don't worry, I'll have your latte ready in a sec." She smiled and went about the flurry of frothing milk and pouring espresso like a pharmacist dolling out prescriptions. I always received the distinct impression that Emily would have flourished in 18th century France. Her low cut shirts under her apron always gave me the impression of a French lady-in-waiting with her bustier on display.