Love in Harlem

Chapter Two

Pride has always been my best friend. The word and the person. Being proud of what comprised Harlem Ray and the strings that held it all together gave me a sixth sense.

And then there was Pride. A lovely girl aged 15. She was beautiful. No, she didn't have the traditional beautiful features and her face was covered in acne and tiny abrasions. No, she didn't have the ideal body type. She was extremely skinny and her body was void of any "maturity" or curves. But her mind. Her mind was untouchable. Once I fell in love with her mind, all of her features became beautiful to me. The gaps in her teeth. Her wild eyebrows. Everything. Often, I caught myself tracing her facial expressions with my own eyes as if they'd changed and to me they had. She grew prettier every time I looked and my heart fluttered more.

"What are you doing Harlem? Aren't you going to help with the history project?" She asked, slightly annoyed. I knew she hated my staring, but I couldn't quite help it.

"Uh- right. Sorry." I stammered. I blushed and my bright complexion made that very apparent. Oops.

She raised a bushy eyebrow at me, her big eyes paying extra close attention to me. And suddenly my entire face was hot. Even my ears. She chuckled and put her pencil down.

"Look at me, Harlem," she cooed. I couldn't help but lock eyes and once I did, I couldn't tear them away even if I had wanted. I didn't want to though, trust me. I got a frog in my throat that I had to use all my might to push down. "Do I intimidate you?"

All I could do was nod. Contrary to popular belief, Pride hated her name. She felt like it didn't suit her whatsoever so she went by Perrie most days. She didn't take pride in her intelligence she was quite humble. She never boasted about her socioeconomic status. It didn't matter to her. In fact, she couldn't find anything that truly mattered to her. Except her family and hopefully me. Dear God, I hoped with every bone in my body that she cared about me.

"I don't know. Maybe. Smart people have always intimidated me." I said.

"Well I don't see what that has to do with me. I'm not all that smart."

"Are you kidding?! Mrs. Ganders just raves about your essays and exam scores. All the principals commend you. And most of all, I admire you because I can't do that stuff. I can barely pass with a C. Perrie, you're the smartest person I know."

Now it was her turn to blush. Her skin was even lighter than mine. She gave me a small smile, but her lips didn't part at all. "Thanks, Ray. I didn't know you thought that about me."

"Everybody thinks that about you."

She tucked a thin, soft piece of dark hair behind her ear. "Not everybody. Just know that I'll never be good enough for some people. I must learn to be okay with that."

A wave of guilt fell over me. Urgency surged through my veins. How do I tell her? She has to know. I have to tell her.

"You know that I love you, right?" I asked.

"Of course. You're one of the few people who truly love me. And I feel that in the way you talk to me. It's a nice change of pace."

"No, not like that."

Her eyebrows flew up once more. "Then like what?"

That same heat began to creep up my neck and face. Her hands pulled down on her blue sundress. She looked fantastic in it. Periwinkle was definitely her color. Her thin lips were in a tight line as she awaited my answer. But I couldn't bring myself to speak. Her eyes pierced my heart and I suddenly felt like I was dying inside. In the best way possible.

My heart hammered in my chest as my hand slowly crept towards hers. I locked fingers and she still hadn't pulled away. That only made that feeling of 'JUST SAY IT' harder to endure.

Her bed creaked a little. I shifted closer to her until my face was just inches from hers. I hoped that my breathing wasn't too loud or that I didn't have something stuck in my teeth or anything that could possibly make me look stupid.

"I think you're so perfect. You're the perfect person. You're intelligent. Beautiful. I'm always getting lost in your eyes. It's so...unnatural. But so....good."

She looked away from me, her eyes welling with tears. "W-what are you saying?"

I took a deep shuttered. I hope Dad would be proud when I told him that I'd finally done it. He got an earful about my crush everyday when I came from school I could tell he was close to just telling her himself.

"I think I'm in love with you, Perr-" I stopped. "Pride, I love you."

Somewhere during my confession, my hand managed to cup her face even tho it shook from the adrenaline coursing through my body along with other feelings. She now had tears streaming down her face. I noticed a stray piece of hair and I brushed it away.

"I think I love you too, Harlem."

I kissed her. I don't know what came over me, but I took both of my hands and put them on her waist. I got frightened when I noticed she hadn't kissed me back, but as soon as I was about to pull away, I felt her lips part and her hands wound up under my t-shirt and against the soft skin on my sides. We had to be the only two people in this world at that moment. All my fear dissolved. My body trembled still. She pulled away so she could raise her dress a little bit to crawl into my lap. She stared at me a little longer and ran her fingers through the curly heap of hair sprawled all over my head. Her acrylics felt nice in my scalp. Pride looked so pretty; prettier she'd ever looked. Even with tears still in her eyes. She could've lulled me to sleep.

Somehow, her soft lips found mine again. I couldn't help but smile in between kisses. Nothing could ruin this, right?

"Pride, honey. It's dinner ti-" Pride's mother stopped dead in her tracks. Pride practically flung herself off of me in seconds.

The rest of that night was a blur. All I remember were useless shouts from me and Pride. And tears, oh the tears that followed suit. Everything around me has shattered. One thing was clear. One thing I understood: Pride loved me, but couldn't be with me. Or talk to me at all for that matter. I cried profusely to my father that night with my face buried in a carton or three of ice cream. He hugged me and sighed. I know he felt responsible.

"I didn't know her parents were like that." He apologized again and again.

"The best feeling wrapped me up and just like that, it was snatched from me."

"I never got to feel that. I didn't love your mother sadly and I hadn't loved a woman since. You are the first woman I'd ever loved so I can't tell how this romance thing goes. But I know that you should pursue what makes you happy. I for one am just happy you can't get pregnant from this relationship." I just fell into his arms and cried some more. My face physically hurt squeezing tears out of the bags under my eyes. He held me like he had when I fell off my bike at 10. And like he did when I was distraught over a broken toy. Like he always had and I felt he always would. My love for him became apparent in that moment and I squeezed him in the tightest hug I could manage with my tired, weak body.

"I just want to talk to her. That's all I want." I mumbled in the crook of his neck.

"You will if it's meant to be. If it's true, you'll always make your way back to her until you can't anymore." He assured me. Maybe I seemed like an angsty, dramatic teenager to him, but I'd done the one thing he'd never managed to do. Maybe that was why he tried to be sympathetic.

Whenever I saw her around, she forced herself to storm past me. Each time she bursted into tears and ran off, I was left cold and alone. She hid her face from me. She made herself scarce. I couldn't even see her. I gawked, staring with my mouth because she'd ran off before I could say anything at all. I couldn't even say hey. We were strangers and a day never went by where I didn't think of her and what she was doing with her life. Sometimes, I'd even cry about what happened even when I was seeing somebody. I lied so much to cover up how I felt so she wouldn't have to be embarrassed by me and her sexuality. How would anyone help anyway? They'd make it worse with their stupid questions and judgement. I felt helpless and the one person that could help me was off trying to move on just like me. That was the second time my heart ever broke.