Remnants of Evil

9

Eleven days came and went without hearing from Scott. I tried to push it to the back of my mind, tried to focus on the present, tried to keep down the anxiety that had grown deep inside of me, but it all failed. I was worried.

"Remember you gotta talk nice to her okay? And she ain't like goin' over 55 so don't push it." Kevin's voice snapped me back into reality, brought me back to the crowded airport we were standing in.

"I know how your car is, don't worry, she'll still run great when you get back." I smiled as he pulled me in for a hug. "Give Court a hug for me, I love you."

I watched him disappear through the crowd, making his way towards security. Courtney needed to go back to Pittsburgh for treatment, she'd left the week before while Kevin stayed back to make arrangements for their house and jobs until they could come back.

The cold late autumn air rushed against my skin as I walked through the automatic doors, walking quickly through the maze of cars until I spotted the familiar silver Oldsmobile. She was Kevin's baby, he'd had her since he moved here seven years ago, and she held more memories than any other car I had ever been in.

Heavy rap and smoke poured out as I opened the door. Ari sat slumped over the steering wheel, cigarette in one hand and phone in the other.

"His phone's off."

"What do you mean?" He redialed the number, my heart sinking when Scott's voicemail recording never came, instead replaced by an automated voice, "The number you have dialed is no longer in service."

"Jesus Christ," I sunk back in my seat, watching Ari do the same, the lights from the parking garage reflecting on the tears that had trailed down his face.

"At least we ain't heard anything from anyone else, means he must be ok."

I just nodded, as true as it was I was still scared.

"He knows how to live out there, he's been on the streets longer than either of us."

Ari was right, he'd been hustling since he was 12, only a year older than Ari and I. We were just selling weed while Scott was already selling harder shit. I'd been with him the day he got stabbed, I'd never forget the way he laid there, face pale, the blood spilling from between his fingers.

I was swerving through traffic, tears pouring down my face as I pedalled faster than I ever had and I ever will again, leaving my barbie bike discarded in the yard as I yelled for my mom to call an ambulance.

Scott grew up fast after that, not even in high school yet had bigger balls than any of the adults he had to compete with. He was different for a long time, years passed and he never fully went back to the happy go lucky kid he had been.

Ari was right, no news was good news when it came to Scott.

»»-----　　-----««

Movement from beside me pulled me from the light sleep I had managed to fall into, my arms instinctually reaching out to try to keep Ari next to me on the couch. He escaped my grasp, rising to go and retrieve his ringing phone from the kitchen.

After what felt like ten minutes I sat up and slid on the pair of sweats I had laying on the floor before walking into the kitchen. Ari's head was in his hands, his long hair draped like a curtain around his face. I listened to the murmur of the voice on the other end of the phone.

"We'll be right there." His tone was off, he sounded defeated. He turned as he hung up the phone, his face unreadable, my heart dropping to the pit of my stomach.

"That was Scott's mom, he's at a hospital in the old 1.5"

"The fuck was he doin' in the fifteenth?" I stumbled over my words, trying to put my thoughts together quickly. "Did she say why?" My chest tightened as my eyes met his, no words needed for me to understand what had happened.

I ran to grab sweatshirts from our room, throwing one to Ari as we rushed out the door to get in the car and go.

All that could be heard was the heavy beat of my heart in my ears, and the engine of Kevin's car being put under stress as Ari sped down the highway. Even driving as fast as possible the drive still took over thirty minutes, feeling like hours and hours in the silent car. My stomach turned over and over on itself, anxiety brewing in my chest, coursing through my bloodstream. How bad was he going to be this time?

His blond hair fanned out beneath his head, the dark roots even further pronounced by how greasy his hair was. His eyes were shut, his face pale, a breathing tube down his throat. My eyes trailed further down, examining the gauze bandages he had around both wrists, having to quickly look away or else risk bursting into tears. I wasn't expecting to see the evidence of a suicide attempt, just an overdose, and that shit hit harder than anything. Ari stood right outside of the door talking to Scott's mom, occasionally glancing to where I was sat beside Scott, my hand laying on top of his, his skin slightly tinged blue.

Scott's mom said that someone called 911 after they found him in a public bathroom. They'd injected him with narcan, which apparently lasted until right after they stitched up his wrists. Once the effects wore off he was sent right back into his OD, breathing shallow and irregular, they had to incubate him until he woke up and showed improvement, which they hoped would be soon.

Ari took the spot next to me, but his eyes never rose to look at his cousin. I waited for Scott's mom to leave before turning to Ari, "What's wrong?"

"I jus' feel like it's all my fault," he shifted uncomfortably in his chair, his voice hollow. "If I hadn't gotten pissed at him none 'a this shit woulda happened."

"You can't blame yourself, baby. You did what you thought was right, and what Scott did was his own decision." He didn't respond, just stared off towards the door as I talked to Scott. I don't know if he could hear me or not, but if he could he needed to know that I loved him, that both of us did.

A few minutes passed before Scott's mom walked back in, a black coffee in her hand, and a couple snacks from the vending machine. She furrowed her eyebrows towards us as Ari basically dragged me from the room, my tears spilling over as soon as we got into the elevator.

Ari held me against his chest, running a shaky hand through my hair as we rode down seven floors. We made our way to the parking garage, walking through the labyrinth of cars before finding ours. I lit a cigarette and waited for Ari to pull the car out. The engine turned over once, twice, then sputtered out. He tried again, getting the same result.

"Fuck!" he shouted, slamming his hands on the steering wheel. He continued swearing, his voice began to crack as sobs broke through, his emotionless exterior being torn down with each hit to the steering wheel.

I made my way to the trunk, sticking my finger underneath to jimmy the makeshift lock that Kevin had installed once the keys stopped opening it. With the cigarette held between my lips I grabbed the portable car battery with jumper cables. Ari's head shot up as I slammed the trunk, taking the cigarette from me before popping the hood.

The car roared to life with a few turns of the key, Ari letting out a sigh of relief as he finally got to leave the lot and begin the half hour drive home.

»»-----　　-----««

I spat the minty foam into the sink, rinsing my mouth out and my toothbrush off. It was already three in the morning, and even though neither of us had to work the next day we still needed the sleep.

Our bedroom was empty when I looked inside, Ari's spot untouched. I rolled my eyes, turning back to look off the back deck, see if he was smoking a blunt without me. But he wasn't out there.

There was light filtering out from under Scott's door, and I quickly made my way over. "Ari, let's go-"

He sat hunched over the bedside table, a rolled dollar bill in his hand and two neatly cut lines laid out in front of him. The guilt was evident on his face, his mouth hung open as he stuttered, looking for the right words to say.

"It's not what it looks like."