Star Wars: from conversations / reader requests

9 (continuation of #8): Visions

A/N: I made some more minor changes to the plot; Anakin also sees more in his vision on Mortis. This is a shorter one-shot; sorry that Ania and Cade aren't as present in this as the chapters before.

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"I was trying to save you, you know?" Anakin murmured softly into Padmé's ear, nose pressed in her hair, taking in the sweet scent that he had missed so much in her century of hibernation.

"But that attempt was severely misguided, Ani," Padmé replied, her eyes still glistening in hurt. "The acts you committed can hardly be justified, especially the genocide against the Jedi. They were your brethren."

Her husband pulled away slightly, everlasting sadness and regret lingering on his face. Suddenly he appeared decades older, his eyes having seen too much, his hands having done too much. "Yes, you are right," he sighed, once more loathing the atrocious acts he had committed, despite the many decades Luke had spent trying to coax his father out of his hole.

The room fell into a solemn silence until Anakin gathered up the courage to use his voice again.

"During the Clone War, Ahsoka, Obi-wan and I went to a planet called Mortis," Anakin began once more, unsure of himself, but carrying on.

"It was... Another realm created by the Force, I believe. The planet does not belong to any star sector, and we had no communications to the outside world for the duration of our isolation..."

From his position on the couch, Cade raised a brow, apparently interested, though Anakin paid him no attention.

"Anyways. There were three Force wielders there, one of whom tried to manipulate me to his side. In the end, we had our memories erased, but I remember everything now."

Two of the three others perked up, while Ania Solo scrolled down on her datapad, nonchalant about all the Force business.

"There, from the one who tried to manipulate me, I had a terrible vision—so much destruction, so much suffering, and I was in the middle of it all. I heard the Jedi Council's whispers of absolution, that only the light could survive and that the two sides could not coexist; and there was Sidious—Palpatine—cackling as lightning shot from his hands, as he chanted that the Dark will win." He began trembling, sorrow overwhelming his mind, "and I was their 'Chosen One', their means to bring destruction to serve their own purposes... and everything I saw, all the younglings' cries, you choking in my grasp, the screaming and the dying, everything came true."

Padmé tentatively touched his forearm in sympathy, but Anakin backed away, out of her reach.

"Please, Padmé, don't take this as me pleading for forgiveness or understanding, I just thought it would be better for you to know, I—I didn't want this in the first place. In fact, if not for Darth Plagueis I shouldn't exist at all but—

"Please, don't forgive me for anything."

Padmé reached out and grabbed him, holding him tight in her arms; her scent alone made salty tears sting his eyes. Anakin desperately tried to push away—no, he did not deserve her, not after what he's done—"Please let me go, angel."

His wife refused to listen. "So, you were a pawn?" She whispered softly, her voice laced with no small amount of hurt.

Anakin let out a bitter chuckle. "I suppose you could put it that way."

Then the Jedi weren't the epitome of goodness, after all, she thought to herself, if they would use a helpless boy from Tatooine as a tool for their own machinations...

He was staring down now, his body trembling even more. "It does not matter what they used me as; nothing justifies what these hands have accomplished. Love, you cannot condone my actions. It's better off for me to be alone."

Yet his stubborn wife does not let go, in fact holding him even tighter. Cade and Ania shifted away awkwardly, trying not to get entangled in the couple's conversation as Padmé brought her husband down to sit by her side so he might nestle his head against her chest, and she could make him feel worthy again.

"And I don't forgive you, not completely--but I don't blame you entirely, either. I'm so sorry I never noticed their intentions..." She caressed Anakin's hair, running her fingers through the strands to smooth them out; "from now on, Ani, I'll keep you safe, alright?"

Anakin let out a quiet, wet exhale, and a small, hesitant movement of his lips made just shy of a smile. "Alright."