Nicotine and Razors

Bathroom Breaks and Worries

3:20 P.M.

Ive been needing to go to the bathroom a lot lately. And I've been getting hungrier faster and needing to eat more. Its making me very worried that I might actually be pregnant with Marcus' baby. What will happen if I am?

I would be due sometime in March, two months away from me graduating Junior year. Meaning next year id finally be done with high school if I do graduate my senior year. I would probably have to drop out due to me being too big to keep walking and then having to take care of it after it's born. I could move in with Marcus, since he knows I will not be a single parent, and then probably be with him. I told him that if I ever get pregnant, I will marry that man. And he said hes okay with marrying me.

And what will I tell Ashriel? I love her, ive always loved her. But... Do I actually love her...? Or is it just a mere crush or lust? I mean, I want to be with Marcus... Right? Ashriel wants to both be virgins if we get married... but I might be pregnant?! HOW THE HELL WILL I TELL HER THAT I ALREADY HAD SEX AND MIGHT BE PREGNANT??!! Shes going to hve a fit. I'm so fucking sorry I lied, Ashy...

Well fuck. My emotions are all wonky. It could be the fact that i am indeed pregnant or its just messing with my head and making me think that I am. I doubt i am. Its probably just in my head with all the symptoms and shit. I am not pregnant.