Y/n POV
TW // SUICIDE
Todays finally the day. the day i finally get to leave.
I'm standing close to the edge of the rooftop with some pills that my doctor prescribed for me a few weeks ago. Before I leave I decided to write a letter to the 2 most important people in my life. Billie and finneas
Dear Billie,
You were the person I saw Living with for the rest of my life. I loved you so much that I could take a bullet for you. I loved everything about you. the tiny scrunch that appears on your nose whenever you laugh. the most unbelievably perfect smile of yours. I was so in love with you that it was physically impossible to move knowing that you probably never loved me the same way. I remember us making a promise up here saying that we would be together till the day we die. I know we aren't in good terms, but even during those 4 months that you decided to cheat on me, I knew the entire time. I didn't want to break up with you because I loved you, so fucking much. That night when you told me to leave, a part of me died. I couldn't eat for two weeks, I could barely leave my room. I was lost without you. I absolutely hated how much of an impact you've made on me. I fucking hate it because I became so vulnerable without you. nothing could ever make the pain go away. nothing except me leaving. I stand by that promise Billie, I will love you till the day I die and after. I love you billie Eilish pirate O'Connell
Love, y/n
Dear finneas,
First of all I want to thank you for all of the memories we shared together. The laughing to the cries. The first day I met you I knew we would be stuck by the hip, and we were. you made me feel safe all the time and you never failed to show that you cared about me, and i'll always be thankful for that. You stayed by my side when I complained about all the shit that's went through in my life and never judged me. You never judged me whenever I told you about my problems with Billie or my with some of my friends. I will never forget you because you were never failed to make me happy finneas. Make sure to take good care of yourself and Billie. I love you.
Love, y/n
I put the letters inside my pocket and looked up the sky "it really is beautiful" and with that I pulled the orange bottle out of my pocket and swallowed almost everything inside the container. I felt nothing for awhile until all of the sudden and I fall to the ground and thats when I knew its finally over. I still managed to say "I love you billie" before everything turned black.
Billies POV
When we reached I ran up the stairs to the rooftop. I pushed open the big grey door open and what I saw made me fall to the ground. Y/n's body lying on the floor life less. What made me even more shocked was what I heard, " I love you billie".
my tears started to flood my eyes and face and my head started to pound. A hand touched my back and I noticed it was finneas, crying. I told him to call 911 while I ran to the person I wanted to spend my entire life with's lifeless body. I held her in my arms and took the nearly empty bottle of pills away from her hand and slowly rocked her body as I kept trying to tell myself that this was all just a bad dream and that she would be laying on my chest when I woke up.
A few minutes later but what felt like seconds, I heard police sirens and saw an ambulance and 2 police cars. I saw finneas run back down to talk to them, but I stayed. I looked at her and remembered all the times her now so pale face used to glow whenever I bought her a gift, or when she would smile widely and squeal like a kid when her favorite show had a new season. She's gone, all because of me. I can't help my tears from falling down. I was taken back when someone, a paramedic to be exact, politely asks me to move away from y/ns now dead body. He pushes me aside when I hold her tightly against me, but not as harsh as you would think and carries y/n back down.
I follow him until they put her on top of a stretcher and start doing medic shit on her that I really couldn't focus on. I hear the paramedic on her right yell "I have no pulse". Hearing that was all it took for me to fall down to my knees and sob so fucking hard it hurt my chest, but I didn't give a fuck. she probably went through so much worse and now she's gone, because of me. Me. I couldn't feel a single thing, not fucking one. It's your fault was all that kept replaying in my head.
A few minutes passed and a man came up to me and finneas and asks us for our names and look back at the two envelopes on his hands and hands it to both of us. "We found this in her pocket, its for both of you" another tear rolls down my eyes and I look at the paper.
it read Dear Billie Eilish, the love of my life. I slowly opened it and read it. I guess I made the worst mistake ever. no. I know I did. I fuck up every good thing that ever happens to me. the one person that helped me through so much shit, is now gone. I look over to Finneas only to see him sobbing. he closes his letter and just by the look he gave me, I knew he was trying to hide the fact that he's breaking.
He walks over to me and hugs me tightly and I hug back just as tight. he finally decides to say something after not talking for awhile, "we lost her, we actually lost her billie." and felt a tear on-top of my head. We just stayed like that and watched the ambulance start to ride away.
I love you so fucking much y/n
Authors Note
Hey guys! So I've been busy because my school just started and I barely have time to open my phone I love all of you.
Thank you guys once again for FUCKING 75 views. It may
be a little but it means a lot❤️
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