Letters |MerDer one shot|

hold on

Meredith's pov

I received a letter.
That's not like all the others, that is kinda special. I don't know who sent me it.
I opened the paper and I started to read.
"Dear Mer, maybe you forgot me. Maybe you don't wanna hear talk about me for the rest of your life, but I wanted to write this.
I'm here, looking at you all the day and everyday.
You're still beautiful as when we met.
Our kids are so smart and the new one, Ellis, is so cute and adorable.
They're all so beautiful and knowing that I can't hug them hurts. Knowing that I can't kiss you anymore hurts.
I can see you, I can feel you, but I can't touch you.
Sometime I can feel that you're crying or that you're angry and I just wanna be there and hug you since you're fine, but as I said, I can't.
I know that you won the Harper Avery. I always said that you're so smart. I think that you know how proud of you I am right now.
You're a beautiful mother and a beautiful wife. Yes, I didn't use the past coz you're still my wife.
I know that's not easy grow up alone and I don't want that this happen to you.
Maybe your life now is better without me... you can go out with whoever you want, spend much time for yourself, have a new family... yeah maybe it's better without me.
I know I was terrible, but I loved you since my last minute. Love.
Here with me there are Lexie and Mark too.
They still love each other and when I see them I miss you more.
Lexie miss you too. She do miss her big sister, but now has me as her big brother.
I do am happy, but is not the same happiness that I felt with you around.
Now I have just moments.
I wish I was with you and our family.
You and Amelia are doing a great job together, you two should care more of each other and don't worry that I care of you both.
Now I really have to go, but I'll never leave you. I'm always here by your side.
Be happy and give a kiss at our kiss by my part.
I love you Meredith Grey. I love our family and I'm so proud of you, remember that and when you're sad look at me, I'm here.
By your husband, Derek."
I finish to read with tears on my eyes. He still love me.
I watch at the sky and say "thank you" my cheek are full of tears that are running down.
"I do, still love you so so much" other tears are going down.
"You were not terrible. My life without you is a mess. I miss you everyday"