Jimin and I have been friends since... diapers. We are really close... we wouldn't know what to do without one another.
But... ever since Jimin became famous as a member of BTS, it's been hard to hang out in public. Whenever we are seen together, pe...
"neon naepureungompangi nalguwonhae jun nayecheonsanayesesang nan nesamsaekgoyangi neolmannareo on Love me now Touch me now
Just let me love you Just let me love you ujugacheoeumsaenggyeonasseulttaebuteo modeungeonjeonghaejingeoyeosseo Just let me love you"
I silently sang along with Jimin's song, my knees pressed up against my chest as I sat on my bed. I was staring at a plushie that Jimin had gotten me when we went to an amusement park together. I always kept it... It was pretty special to me. Staring at it... just got me thinking. Jimin... He does so much for me.
He is always making sure I'm ok... Making sure I'm happy, and that I stay that way. He hates to see me sad. He's just so sweet. And he it's all for me...
But... I just can't put a finger on it, but the way he always smiles when he does something for me... And the look in his eyes. I could tell he cares for me a lot. He had this some kind of... Sixth sense. He always knew what I needed.
Like... When we went to to that amusement park, he took me so I could get my mind of of my grandpa that had passed away. At one point while I was there, I had to go somewhere and cry... My grandpa was really important to me afterall, and I was still having a hard time with everything.
But then, Jimin found me and hugged me. He told me it was all going to be ok, and that he was gonna be there with me through it all. Sure, it made me cry even hard, heh... But it was very reassuring, and since then, I knew he would always care for me, and be by my side.
That's also when he handed me the plushy that he had won before he came to find me. He told me that the plushie could be my cuddle buddy, and that when I was feeling down, I was to hug it till the pain goes away.
... I named the plushie Mama Kang... Because it was a Kangaroo... And I'm not very creative with names. She's been really special to me, and I've been grateful to Jimin for giving her to me.
I grabbed Mama Kang, and hugged her against me as tight as I could with my broken arm. She was the perfect size for cuddling with.
These... These recent events have made me feel so mixed... I try to act like it was all fine. I try to be I source of strength for Jimin, because I felt like I needed to pay him back for all he's done for me. But to tell the truth, it's been really hard. I've been getting plenty of hate comments on all of my posts, and some of them really hit home.
"You stupid, ugly whore. You don't deserve to be with Jimin."
"Ewwwww what's that on my screen??? Oh. I just accidentally zoomed in on one of your many zits."
"You fucking bitch, stay away from Jimin."
I cuddled Mama Kang even closer to my chest, nuzzling my face into her.
I just didn't know if I should still pretend to be strong, or to finally give in.
I just felt like I'm supposed to be something to hold onto...
For Jimin...
"It's all gonna be ok..." I told myself, trying to stop me from crying.
This is all your fault. Jimin doesn't want to be your friend anymore. You ruined it for him anyway.
A year rolled down my cheek
You're not even doing anything to stop it. If anything, you made it even worse for Jimin by getting in a car crash.
Everything started to get blurry as more tears gathered up in my eyes.
Worthless
Stupid
I let out a cry, Mama Kang muffling it, since my face was smothered into her.
Ugly
Not worth it
Hated
Ring ring
My head snapped up as my music stopped and my ringtone replaced it.
I looked at the contact name on my phone, seeing that it was Jimin.
I hurried and wiped my eyes, grabbing my phone before the ringing could end, then swiping to answer it.
"Hello?" I said, trying not to sound like I was just barely crying.
"Hey! Are you doing alright?" I heard Jimin's voice.
"Yeah, I am."
"What are you doing right now?"
"Just sitting on my bed, being bored. You know how it is." I let out a laugh, "I've got some free time since the boss wants me to stay home and recover. I just don't know what to do with that free time."
"I could come to hang out with you? We could play some card games... Watch some movies..." Jimin suggested
"Don't you have things to do?"
"No, actually. I'm free tonight."
I was quiet for a second, hesitanting on having someone over, when I was in this state.
"Alright then. I'd be glad to have you over. I literally have nothing else to do." I answered.
"Alright!!! I'll be over tonight then. Does six sound good? We could order take out." Jimin said, sounding happy about coming over.
"Yeah. That sounds good. See you then!" I confirmed.
"See you, Muffin!" With that we both hung up.
Let me love, let me love you
Let me love, let me love you...
Thank you again for reading. Also, here's Mama Kang.
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She isn't just a stuffed animal for you to have in the book that I just made up. She happens to be the very same stuffed animal I use for whenever I feel sad :3
