Free Writing

Part 1: October 11, 2014

I feel like I never have time to write. It's a lot of work, a lot of thinking power, and honestly, I need that for school. I'm a junior now. That's scary to say aloud because it makes everything seem so much realer. I'm going to be applying to college in less than a year. I have to have some inkling of what I'm going to do with the rest of my life in less than a year. I have to decide where I want to spend four years of my life and tens of thousands of dollars. That's terrifying. It's a big decision and I can barely decide what I want to order at Starbucks. But writing, like reading, is calming for me. It may be difficult and a lot of work, but at least there's no pressure like there is on everything else in my life right now. I need one thing in my life that isn't dictated by the need to fill up my resume or be successful. Sure, it'd be nice if I had hundreds of followers, but this site isn't about that for me. That's why I've never really started a huge project on here yet. One, because I don't have the time anyway, but also because I don't want this to have some kind of pressure on me. 

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting on my bed with a oversized navy blue sweater on. My phone just rang; I got a Snapchat from someone. I'm listening to this playlist of 8tracks that's full of soothing indie music, and the fairy lights above my bed are on. Today was the first truly cold day of the season. Unfortunately, because of the weather where I live, it'll be back to high 80's by tomorrow, but I'm enjoying while I can, donning my fluffy socks and combat boots and big sweater and bright orange beanie. It's 9:45 pm. Today consisted of taking the ACT and then going to lunch with one of my best friends. We spent four hours in Panera, just talking about life, school, friends, movies, TV, and making plans for having a Halloween movie marathon. I love that I can drive now. If I had had to rely on my dad for a ride today, I don't think my friend and I would have gotten to talk about all the stuff that we did today. We discussed everything from college and how our ridiculously difficult school is screwing us over socially, the drama of one of our friends liking another friend's boyfriend, how we really don't want to get involved in that, to how much we love cold cloudy days like today. She's so similar to me interests and mindset. 

It was my birthday on Thursday, and yesterday two of my guy friends brought a cake to my house. I don't think I've ever had such considerate and sweet friends before I started this school in freshman year. I can't get over how much my friends mean to me. It's insane. They keep me grounded, they keep me laughing, they keep me happy. I despise negativity, and they are exactly the type of people I need in my life. 

Right now, life may be arduous and daunting, but at least I have friends that I can chill at a Starbucks with at 10:30pm on a Friday night. 

I don't really expect anyone to read this, but if you are, leave a comment telling me something good that happened to you today. Tell me about your friends or the new shoes you bought (I'm eyeing those white doc martens currently) or the test you just aced. Let's talk about the good things in life. 

Love, 

J