Splattered In Blood

Spattered In Blood

Prolouge

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My body shakes, my heart is racing, im curled up in a ball in a corner, staring at the sharp knife in my hands. The light coming in from the outside, shines down on it, almost as if someone was saying, temping me. Do it.... do it..... do it.... do it.... what are you waiting for?

I lift the knife up to my throat, taking a deep breath of air. It'll be as quick as breathing, It'll only take a second to lose the hurt; I wouldnt have to deal with it anymore, It could all be gone, just like that... then I would be free! I wouldnt have to cut, I wouldnt have to cry... no more suffering!

The window was open, the wind was irritating, blasting the cold at my face. What are you waiting for? No one loves you, no one cares. You might as well do it. I press the knife against my throat, a single tear rolling down my cheek. And then I was gone.

The only thing left of her, was the note beside her, splattered in blood.

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I dont want to hurt anymore. All I ever do now is try, not even for myself; people say things will get better, but they dont. So when I sat here, crying my eyes out, wanting to die cause the pain keeps getting worse you except me to believe it? 

No one understands. I've been trying my whole damn life. Its getting worse, and I dont know how much more I can take; 

The pain I feel inside my body, no words can describe. Everyday I have to fight the urge to cut myself, to cry in a ball, to end it all... its a battle.

And im tired of trying. Im getting weaker. It may seem like im getting better, but thats just because im good at acting; I had to be growing up, and its hard to get out of a pattern you did growing up.

You may think im giving up, I guess I am. It gets to a point, where you dont care. Your in so much pain, you just want it to end. You've been dealing with it for so long you cant deal with it;

Your way far gone from reality, its all you think about, and your scared to be alone...

You'll never truely know how it feels, until you've been there;

I know youll say, your selfish! Only caring about yourself doing it. How will everyone else feel? I know... but it gets to a point. 

Im tired of hurting, I just want it to go away.

I cant think of anyone else, the pain, is just too much.... too much to handle

No matter how many times someone tries to convince me, I dont care. I cant seem to care; 

Im sorry. For everything.

Goodbye forever.  </3

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