i love you ➵ elmax

III

"No!"

Max turns her head to look around. She can't quite figure out where the noise is coming from before she lays her eyes on the brunette sleeping next to her who has a painful expression on her face. Realising that El is the one making that heartbreaking noise, Max tries to wake her up by shaking her lightly. "Hey, El. Wake up," she mumbles softly.

Eleven's eyes open and she looks around in confusion before starting to cry. Max is shocked at first but seeing her best friend like that breaks her heart. She wraps her arms around El, pulling her into a warm hug. "It's okay. You're okay," she says repeatedly.

After having calmed down a little bit, Eleven looks at her. "I'm sorry," she whispers.
"What?"
Max is confused.
"What do you mean?"

Eleven sighs before continuing to speak. "Can we talk?" she whispers.

"So, what's wrong?" Max asks after both of them made their way outside. They sit down on the curbstone in front of the house. It's still morning. Probably around nine o'clock. They haven't really slept much.

"I've been having these bad dreams," Eleven begins to explain.

"You mean nightmares?"

"Yeah, nightmares. They seem so real. It feels... scary. I see him. But he's gone. And I miss him. He was my home. I miss being home." Max doesn't have to ask to know that El is talking about Jim Hopper who was like a father to her. She sighs. "El, I'm so sorry."

"Max, I see... I see Billy, too. I couldn't save him. I should've saved him. I hurt you. It should've been me. I'm so sorry. He saved me when I should've saved him. Max, I'm so sorry."

Max is taken aback for a second. She didn't know how guilty El feels about Billy. He was an asshole to Max most of the time. Well, perhaps all the time. But he was her brother. His death affected Max. Even though he treated her like shit she still cared about him. Not because of his clearly non-existent kindness but because that's just who she is. She cares. No matter how many times she has been hurt. She knew there was a reason for Billy's behavior. And even though she hated him, there was a part of her that cared about him.

Seeing how guilty El feels hurts. The fact that she blames herself leaves a heavy weight on Max's chest.

"No," she says, her voice growing louder with each word. "No, don't say such things. It's not your fault. Don't say that. Don't even dare to think that! It shouldn't have been you. Don't you ever say that again!"

El looks at her, tears running down her face. "Hey," Max whispers, hugging the brunette. "It's okay. I miss him. But it's not your fault. I don't want you to think that. And please don't ever say it should've been you. Because that is not true. You're so important to me. I wouldn't know what to do without you. I don't even want to think about it."

"Really?" El says in disbelief. Max nods, her lips forming a smile. "And we are your family now. We are your home," she says meaning their friend group. "You're safe with us and we will always be there for you. I promise."

El smiles at the redhead's words. "Promise," she mumbles to herself.

"I know what it feels like to lose people who you were close to. I mean, you probably know that better than anyone else. But what I'm saying is that I understand what it feels like. And it fucking sucks," Max says.

"Fucking sucks?"

"Yeah," Max says with a sad smile on her face. "But we're in this together. You're not alone."

"Not alone," El says quietly, facing the other girl who smiles at her.

"Let's go back inside," Max suggests before getting up and offering the brunette a hand. The two of them head back into the basement. Everyone is still asleep. "We should try to sleep, too. Don't you think?" Max says, flashing El a smile who simply nods and lays down. She pats on the space next to her, wanting Max to lay down, too. The redhead does as El pleases and gets down next to her, putting the blanket over both of them. El rest her head on Max's chest, closing her eyes. "Not alone," she mumbles before falling asleep causing Max to smile.