when i started middle school, i met this guy named Luff. well i just saw him that day. i asked my friends about him, and they said he's very smart, handsome, and sporty? so i took a big step to get closer to him, the first time i talked to him was through LINE, i was asking about his homework and score on a test. they way he talk irritates me. he tried to end the conversation every time. but i let it slide since i want to get to know him more, not in a. loving way but just as a friend. and then somehow another dude showed up, his name is kevin. he was nice, he talked to me and always asked me about my day, he kept cheering me up and etc. one day Kevin asked me to watch a movie together, i happily accepted while thinking it was me and him, only. (no i don't have a crush on him, its bc he didn't told me he invited anyone else.) when i arrived, i saw Luff was there too. they were best buds all along, somehow..? we watched the movie, it was nice, we play games and all and thats all. at the end of the day, Luff started to text me. we would usually chat until midnight about games, our days, or sometime gossiping about someone.
It's seems so happy and all right? yeah!
until, i started gain enemy because of this.
after a few days being close friends with Luff, someone would shit talk about me. saying how i like to play boys hearts, and being a pervert bitch. and thats all a lie! i wouldn't do some shit like that! i just knew Kevin and Luff for a couple weeks, how am i supposed to play their hearts? how can they fall in love (as if) with me that easily? even if they do, i wont accept it anyway. then i ask my friend who's the start of all of this drama and lies that spread out about me. her name is Azz. i asked Azz about this shit and she kept on blaming all of it because of me. i dont even know what the fuck i've done to Azz! even if i did, i always apologize! even a joke that doesn't have any harm on it, i apologized about it. Azz said, i am A whore, an annoying bitch, a worthless human being, a stupid bitch, and i can't do anything about it.
i don't know how i should respond about this.
and from that day,
i started to hate my self
because i believed
on all of her words.
and indeed
i cant change anything.
right?
but,
i asked Luff and Kevin,
"am i annoying? am i worthless? do you believe on Azz words?" i asked on a group chat.
"you're annoying, but your worth being my friend. i don't believe on Azz's words. i believe in you." Luff said
"You're not annoying! please don't think of any words that Azz said about you! you are you!" Kevin said.
then i asked them
"why do you believe in me?"
they both answered
"because i trust you"
from that day i tried to not think about all that Azz said. i smiled widely to everyone, even though i'm not that happy inside.
but i don't want to see Luff and Kevin frowning because I'm frowning.
i don't want them to worry
