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Tony and I were babysitting Copeland and by that I mean I was babysitting Copeland. I didn't mind it too much other than the fact that it was exhausting. I had put Cope to bed and might have fallen asleep myself. But when I woke up she wasn't there. I started freaking out and ran down the stairs into the living room where I saw Tony sitting on the floor playing an acoustic guitar and Copeland right in front of him with a toy guitar in her lap and Tony playing a slow melody while baby Copeland hit the small guitar and intensely listening to Tony's melody. I stood there watching how good Tony was with our niece. I couldn't help but think about how amazing he would be as a father.
At the end of the day once Kellin came home and we were driving back home Tony said something that shook me.
"I want one."
"Pardon?"
"I want one. A kid. I don't care if it's a boy or girl. I just want one. One that I can be there for. One that I can play guitar to, one that I can watch grow up, one with you... I want it to have your eyes, your smile, your nose. I want one but not just any one. I want one with you." He looked at the ground.
"Oh..." I wasn't sure how to respond. I never really thought about one. I'd been distracted with music to think about it.
*two months later* I read the strip ++. Hm... well... Tony was at the studio as of right now I decided to wait till diner tonight to tell him... it was kinda our wedding anniversary. I ran to the bedroom and grabbed a small gift box that we would use at Christmas time and put the test strip into the box then wrapped a ribbon around the box.
*at the dinner* "Kit... I love you. A lot. Happy anniversary baby."
"Aww... Tony that's sweet... um before we leave... I have something for you." His face lit up like an eight year old on Christmas. I pulled out the box and put it on the table.
"Kittie... you really didn't have to..."
"Oh trust me. I did."
He took the ribbon off and opened the box. When he saw what was in it his face went pale.
"Holy shit.... kit..."
"Tony?"
"Imma be a dad?" I nodded. "Imma be a dad! Oh my gosh! Wait! What if it doesn't like me? What if I'm a terrible father? I... I can't... oh my..."
"Tony. You are gonna be a wonderful father..." my heart began to race. All I've ever known was after the kids someone left. It happened with my mother. She felt like she wasn't good enough. I don't think I could handle it without Tony. "This child will not hate you. Please just... please don't leave me."
"No. Kit... I wouldn't dream of it. I love you I really do. And you'll be a great mother."
*nine months later* I sat in the hospital bed in pain. Giving birth wasn't fun already an I was just going into labour. Then I felt the contractions. I screamed in pain and Tony came to my side and held my held my hand.
"Push. Breath. Push. Breath." The doctor kept repeating. I kept screaming at the top of my lungs and the room went white.
After thirty agonising minutes the baby was finally born. A beautiful baby girl with my hazel green eyes and Tony's nose. She was absolutely beautifully mesmerising. There was no doubt she was gonna steal boys hearts.
"You did it. Baby... she's... oh my gosh... both of you. So fucking gorgeous." Tony started crying.
"Yeah..." I breathed "next time, you're doing this."
"I don't think that's how it works babe." He laughed.
