DUAL

//08

Chaeyoung's food remained untouched, something very unusual. She didn't feel like she could swallow any.

Every little thing Jimin had told her filled her mind.

Her failures were healthy in her head.

Images of Jimin's flesh cut open floated around in a sea of guilt within her.

Her eyes glanced at Jimin's forearm on the table covered with the sleeve of his shirt. Underneath the garment, there was a large scar. The skin had smoothed and the color had paled. But there was still a mark.

Chaeyoung still failed.

She failed to make the mark vanish. She failed herself and her brother. Jimin had comforted her, telling her that she was doing better than he had expected. It was supposed to make her feel better, but it didn't. She was a disappointment. She felt so horrible. Nothing seemed to work out. Her failures kept piling up and it was only making her despise herself even more. She was becoming more and more humiliated with herself. She was starting to believe that she really was hopeless.

Everyone was silent, but everyone else except her was filling up their empty stomachs. Quietly, they consumed the food in front of them. Neither her father nor her mother opened up their mouths to speak, to talk about whatever they wanted to talk about to her. The longer she had to wait for them to break the news to her, the heavier her heart felt. It was making her nervous, making her slightly hopeful that they changed their minds.

"I have something important to tell," her father finally began after his food finished.

Chaeyoung's expression hardened even before her father announced the main thing. Even after knowing what he was going to say, Chaeyoung couldn't help the unsettling feeling growing in the pit of her stomach.

"You no longer have to attend practices," her father said calmly, almost without any emotion. Her stomach still dropped, nevertheless. Perhaps, she hoped for a little difference for too much.

Her mother looked up from her plate. Chaeyoung felt her mother's eyes on her, like she was waiting for any reaction at all. Chaeyoung's frown deepened, eyes fixed onto her father who, in return, looked at her with no expression displayed.

"Why?" Chaeyoung croaked despite knowing what the answer would be.

"It's useless to keep going when you are not even trying to improve yourself," the man said. "You can take that off," he pointed to the pendant she was wearing.

Her hand went up to touch it. Her hand balled around it protectively. "No, Father. Please."

He shook his head gently. "I have lost count on the number of chances I've given you that you waste away just like that."

"But I –"

"Father," Jimin interrupted. "She's getting a lot better. I swear."

"Stop defending your sister, Jimin," the old man said, his voice dropped low, his face darkened. "Do you think with this unimproved skill of hers she'd be able to help you?"

Jimin let out a loud sigh and Chaeyoung chewed her lip. Her brother never really went against their father except when he was really angered. Even so, Jimin tried to reason without raising his voice, although, he'd pulled up his sleeve quite harshly.

"I stabbed myself here," Jimin said, pointing at the scar and Chaeyoung felt too embarrassed to look at the mark that she had failed to erase away. "She managed to close it up with success and look, the scar looks barely there. Most importantly, I don't feel the pain any longer."

Her father scoffed, shaking his head at it and she felt Jimin fuming beside her. She carefully tugged his sleeve, shook her head at him but it took the shake of her mother's head to stop him. Jimin stood up from his seat, the chair screeched on the floor and he left to go to his room.