Confide in You | DARYL DIXON •3 (NO MORE UPDATES)

2. Distance

Alex couldn't stand to look at herself in the mirror. Today was just one of those days where she didn't want to see what a mess she was becoming. You would think, with all this time being alone, she would've gotten over it or started to feel better.

But it was just the opposite.

Although she had grown just a little bit older, heartbreak carries in every age. She felt unbalanced, almost incomplete without him by her side. She didn't want a man to make her feel like that, to feel weak. But it was more than just a simple love ache—it was living like Rick and Carl had dreamed of, just without them, Glenn and Daryl by her side in Alexandria.

Constant regret of helping Rick that day with keeping Negan alive had suddenly started to rise in her head after a while. She questioned if they would've killed Negan there, killed all the saviors, surely everyone would've been okay?

But what if they weren't that lucky in trying to do that? What if all this time, keeping Negan was the only way?

And Rick's speeches and things he's taught her lives on in her forever. Doing what they've done in the past was all for the future, all for now. To live. They needed to do what they had to in order to get where they were now. Even if that meant losing people.

Rick did it for them, and now they were doing it for him too. They made a new beginning for everyone, and it had to continue to be like that.

Throughout the fall morning, Alex kept herself locked away in her home. After just days ago of Daryl's visit, she didn't want to risk going out today and running into him. Even if Rosita told her almost everything he said to her, she still didn't feel like it was the right time.

Whether Daryl stood the night or not in Alexandria, Alex kept her distance. Not only from him, but from Elijah too.

Rosita was right. She couldn't continue to screw things up with him if she couldn't love anyone else but Daryl. But that was the problem, Elijah was too nice and just let things happen between them. But after that morning, Alex knew she couldn't continue doing whatever it was for him. And Daryl didn't have to know either.

Alex finally left her home when she heard some news from Rosita that Daryl left Alexandria. She had to drag herself out of the room and home just to get to where she needed. Her motivation was the relationship she had with Michonne and the kids. Michonne never blamed Alex for leaving years ago when looking for Rick, but of course her emotions were heightened. Carrying a child, losing the man she loved...Alex understood if she did hold any anger towards her still.

The two of them sit in the living room, as Judith played with RJ on the messy floors of the house, running back and forth between different rooms.

"Are you doing okay?" Michonne asks. "I know yesterday was kind of a surprise for him coming here."

"It startled me, won't lie about that. Why did he come?"

"Judith actually wanted to see him, she's been begging me for the longest time." Michonne smiles. "That kid knows he's been looking out for her since she was small. But we also spoke about some things."

They both pause for a second, Alex furrowing her brows, slowly realizing she might be referring to something Michonne's kept away from everyone.

"I know it was scary then." Alex begins. "When the kids were all gone, Judith. I wanted to go with you and Daryl, to find them. But when you told me I should be here, I accepted that beyond those gates wasn't going to be my job anymore."

Michonne tenses up, not wanting to talk about her old friend, Jocelyn, and the things that happened to Alexandria and the kids.

"Will you ever tell me what happened?" Alex asks, as she leans forward with her arms resting on her knees, hands holding her chin. "You and Daryl came back different. It wasn't and still isn't clear. I get that you had an old friend and she betrayed you, all of us. But it was deeper than that, was it?"

"I could tell you," Michonne says vaguely, ignoring everything else that was said. "But I think you should speak to Daryl."

"Michonne..." Alex sighs.

"Alex, you need to understand that what I went through, what me and him went through and needed to do...It's something I can't share."

"And if Rick was here..."

"I'd be talking to him." Michonne nods. "It has nothing to do with not wanting to open up to you. We're family, but I just can't."

Alex nods, placing her hand on hers, "I get it," she says as she smiles with empathy, understanding where she's coming from.

"Speak to Daryl, huh?"

Michonne smiles, "Yeah, you should. I know he takes time in opening up, he's closed off, now more than ever. But maybe if you extended your heart to him, maybe he'll begin to reach out."

Alex takes moment to absorb her words, and thinks back to what Rosita has been telling her.

"I see the way you hesitate with me." Michonne admits. "That day when you told us you were going to go back home, I want you to know that I was angry at first."

"Michonne, you don't need to explain. I think I kinda deserve it, if I'm being honest."

"That's the thing, you don't. You were just trying to keep Alexandria safe, with a leader and honor what Rick was doing. I was holding so many emotions all at once. When I snapped at you that day, when he did too.."

"It's okay." Alex squeezes her hand. "Look at us now, me and you are okay today."

"We are." She nods. "So go see him, get to that place too, with him. Try."

-
i love michonne so much :,)

I wanted to write a good conversation with Alex and Michonne to show their friendship, and show that it mirrors Alex and Rick's friendship and how they've always supported each other, thick and thin.

How did you like the chapter? Are ya'll ready for whats to come?!?! don't forget to vote and leave a comment 😄

Also, cant believe TWD is ending at season 11. my heart hurts!