Help! I've Created a Brat by Chantal Kayem
Chapter One FREE!
1. Introduction: How Did Today’s Children Turn out So Spoiled?
The Epidemic of Child Indulgence
Time and time again I see parents overindulging and overprotecting their children, treating them like little princes and princesses rather than like children; doing for them what their children are well able to do for themselves; allowing them to take charge rather than taking the lead; and protecting them from feeling negative emotions, such as sadness, disappointment, anger, jealousy, or embarrassment rather than letting them experience these. Some parents even go as far as to try to prevent their children from even having to struggle through boredom, delayed gratification, or any form of discomfort. Other parents fail to discipline their children and instead allow them to take charge and decide for themselves what they are allowed and not allowed to do. Some parents won’t even allow their children to learn from their mistakes. Rather than allowing their children to suffer the consequences of their poor choices, these parents instead rescue and protect their children from negative consequences. Still other parents will even go as far as to sacrifice their own well-being or financial security to provide their children with what they want. All of these examples of parents indulging and spoiling their children are commonplace today.
Today’s Children’s Sense of Entitlement
I hear it from today’s parents all the time. Many kids these days expect to have everything handed to them on a silver platter—food, entertainment, being chauffeured wherever they need to go, and buying them the clothing and toys, computers, phones they like, the lot! And when they get it, they often have little appreciation for what they have received. Many of today’s children also often expect to break rules and not have to face consequences. Children who do not experience negative consequences when they misbehave fail to develop self-control.
This desire for immediate gratification, along with the lack of self-control of many of today’s children, has led to a multitude of problems in children, including parental disrespect, out-of-control behaviors, a lack of empathy or care for others’ feelings, and a feeling of unhappiness and emptiness.
Is Your Child Spoiled?
If you are wondering if your child is spoiled, ask yourself if any of these behaviors sound typical of your child:
•Often whines, demands, complains, or yells to get his way
•Pushes or argues with you to give in
•Is often ungrateful for what you do for him and often asks for or demands more
•Tells you how bad you are when things don’t go his way
•Ignores or fails to comply with many of your instructions
•Pushes for explanations for your limits
•Often accuses you of being unfair
•Often speaks to you disrespectfully
•Often does not seem satisfied
•Complains of boredom if he is not busy for a short time
Do any of these behaviors sound typical of you?
•You do for your child what your child is well able to do for himself (packing lunch boxes, doing chores, etc.)
•You repeat yourself multiple times when your child fails to comply with your requests
