Don't Mine at Night

       It all began on stream very late at night. Koalee was flying around the entire Minecraft map searching for Damien's house (EmKay). Her pixelated elytra holding her aloft. She occasionally discharged fireworks off to keep her in the air, their explosions whistling off into the night. The moon was casting a strange light, barely noticeable against her avatar's diamond armor. The landscape was beautiful, despite the fact that she had a horrible texture pack. It was nowhere near morning; she would use up the rest of her fireworks if she stayed in the air until the sun came up. She came to the conclusion that she would need to build a temporary base on the nearby plain biome.

       Koalee landed softly in a small pool that is in an area surprisingly devoid of mobs.She built her base out of the most easily accessible material around, dirt. She was about to close up her base for the night, when she realized! She didn't have any torches! She could make a house without it, but fuck that shit! She wants some light! She checked her inventory, but all she had was a stack of sticks that she stole from Ryn's house. Luckily, there was a nearby cave with just a bit of coal showing when she used optifine. She glanced around nervously. There were still no mobs around even though the half-moon was centered in the sky. Rather than being suspicious, Koalee saw it as a chance to sprint over to the cave entrance.

       The wall opposite the opening of the cave was made of almost entirely coal. She decided she needed it all! She took her diamond pickaxe and started swinging it from side to side. Xp and coal showering down around her. She took a step back surveying her work, glancing around to make sure there were no skeletons about to snipe her. Still nothing! That made her a bit more anxious, but she just figured that she was lucky. She turned around to make sure that there wasn't anymore coal left, when she saw it. A diamond ore block was peeking out from the corner almost completely obscured by andesite. She really must be lucky!

       "Diamonds don't usually spawn at this elevation," she exclaimed! She then burst into song, "Mine Diamonds!" much to her twitch chat's dismay. She then ran over to the block and started to mine it with her fortune 3 pickaxe. It didn't seem to want to break. She stepped, the happiness in her voice started to evaporate.

       The wall behind Koalee started to look weird, they were starting to turn smoky and indistinct. Slowly it was as if her FUCKING TERRIBLE texture pack was being transferred to the real world. She then realized what was happening! She was being sucked into her Minecraft game! She heard one last discord notification and the transfer was complete. She was in the cave, the diamond ore right in front of her. She swung her pickaxe one more time, more for curiosity than anything else. Even though the rest of her current situation was worrying and foreign, her brain still screamed "diamonds, gotta catch 'em all."

       She picked all of them up and then decided to try to fully understand what was going on. Her body moved with the effortlessness of clicking keys, but she experienced all of the sensations that she would irl. She wandered a bit around the cave, placing torches as she went. The only thing that stopped her from having a full panic attack was the lack of danger. There were still no mobs around. When she reached the end of the cave system, she decided to return to the spot in which she entered the game. She looked into the hole left behind by the diamond ore, but there was just blackness. Then suddenly two glowing white rectangles appeared!

       She stumbled back and fell onto her butt, actually feeling the pain of the fall. Then she heard a deep melodious voice say, "Do you need help?" The voice came from where she had just seen the terrifying sight. The blocks between the voice and her seemed to blip out of existence with a shower of particles. A humanoid figure walked out of the recess in the wall. The glowing rectangles revealed themselves to be eyes that were trained on her. The figure then said gently, "I'm sorry for scaring you. It's been a while since I revealed myself to a player, so I'm a bit rusty."

       Koalee ignored his apology and scrambled back against the wall. "Who are you? Why am I here?!" she screamed.

       "Calm down, my name is Herobrine."

       Koalee, now even more frightened, backed up as far as she could into the cave wall. "Is that supposed to calm me down? You're the fucking hidden villain of Minecraft!" she exclaimed.

       "I'm a techno-virus made out of a human soul, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm not going to hurt you." he said, in his still way too calm voice. 

       Something about him made her feel as if she could trust him. She couldn't seem to pull her gaze away from his face as he helped her up to her feet. Koalee stared longingly into Herobrine's eyes. They were cold and lifeless, yet filled with so much warmth. She suddenly felt the urge to kiss him. She leaned in close and her lips met his, their block heads almost glitching through each other. Their embrace was followed by a cloud of red heart particles. "Did I tame you or did I breed you?" she asked sheepishly.

       "You'll have to do a lot more than that to breed me," he said seductively, eyebrow raised. He snapped his non-existent fingers and an armor stand appeared nearby. Koalee shyly placed her diamond armor on the stand and stood in front of him with just her ordinary skin showing. He walked over to Koalee. Several things could be heard from outside the cave soon after, such as "Make me your diamond hoe," and "aggravate me like a zombie-pig-man." There were also noises that seemed to come from Herobrine that sounded like a mixture between the zombie's "bruh" sound and the villager's "hrrrrn" noise. Not too long after the noises ended, Koalee woke up surrounded by what looked like milk bucket items. "Kyle's gonna be happy about this," she said, sighing.

       The real world then quickly replaced the virtual one. Koalee looked around her room to realize that she was alive and intact. She peeked at her monitor to see a notification that she had been banned from twitch for "displaying inappropriate media." She wasn't too mad because at least she got a stack of diamonds and some milk buckets from the whole situation.

Author's Note: I hope writing this was worth it, I spent way too much time on it.

Lines that weren't included because they might violate the nsfw rule: 

"He then snapped his fingers again and even that disappeared to reveal a very pixelated version of the female form." 

"Put your block shaped thing in my block shaped hole."