Rinse [manxman]

Chapter Eighteen

When I opened my eyes, harsh white light assaulted me. I squeezed them shut, tensing as I tried to roll over and bury my head into the pillow. Gods, my body ached...

Fuck.

A steel ball of dread dropped in my stomach.

They knew. They all knew. Luca, Holly, Dakota... They'd all been wired, all had cameras, everyone knew.

I raised my head, squinting my eyes to avoid being blinded by the light again. As I scanned the room, I saw that I was alone. Of course I was alone. No one would want to be in there with me. Not even Wyatt was there. Lebeaux probably wouldn't let him visit, and I couldn't blame him. I wouldn't have let Dakota into a vile, used thing's room. It wasn't responsible. Actually, it was disgusting. I was disgusting.

I flopped back down, running my hands over my face. Wyatt might come in again once or twice to make sure I was as okay as I could be. Dakota would come in to tell me to get the hell out. That would be it. I would have to leave, no questions asked and no protests made. That was the least I could do for deceiving him for so long.

I had to say goodbye to the kids before I left. Even if I had to defy Dakota's wishes, I had to say goodbye. I was too selfish to disappear like they'd want me to... But maybe I could compromise. I could say goodbye, then disappear. No one would have to know. No one would have to see me. I could just say my goodbyes to the kids, maybe leave a note or something for Dakota, and then vanish. Before I could hear the words come out of Dakota's mouth, before I could see the pity in Elizabeth's eyes, I needed to leave.

Compared to lying there, waiting for someone to kick me out, it was better to take the initiative. When I left, I could finish what I started. I could finish off Boone, and then... I wasn't sure. Maybe I'd go to the other side of the world, somewhere I could hide in plain sight, somewhere that my name hadn't crossed the lips of the locals. Even better, somewhere the name Raden Boone had never been uttered.

I sat up. If I was going to leave, I needed to do it before anyone came in and beat me to it. I looked over at the clock. It was a little before ten-thirty at night. Considering the mission that morning and how early everyone woke to prepare, it was safe to assume at least half of everyone was asleep. The kids were probably in their rooms too. I could sneak into their rooms, say goodbye, figure out what I would do about Dakota, then leave.

And if anyone was awake and in the living room or the first hallway leading to the kids' rooms, I would just have to convince them that they didn't see me. Maybe I didn't feel strong enough to handle someone like Boone again, where I'd be fighting against my own abilities, but I could convince regular people that I wasn't there.

I forced myself out of the bed. A change of clothes was on top of the table at the foot of the bed. I changed into the black jeans and turtleneck, tugging on the pair of matching boots with it. Without looking in the mirror—I didn't think I could stomach it—I ran my fingers through my hair, knocking the bedhead out of it.

Soundlessly, I slipped out of the room. I went down the hall and up the stairs, straight toward the main room. Thankfully, the room was empty. I turned down the hall and slowed when I saw Sophia's bedroom door opened. Light and sound pooled into the corridor. I crept over to the door, peering in to find Lila and Farley piled on Sophia's bed with Sophia crammed between them. Sitting in front of them with his back to the door was Dakota.

"—happened to Blake?" Lila was asking with a frown.

"He overdid it a little today," Dakota said.

"When can we see him?"

"Dr. Brenner thinks it'll be a few days before he's ready for visitors, but when he is, you guys can visit as much as you want. He'll be happy to see all of you."