Just a fan// why don't we

12

           "Emma." I hear. I open my eyes and see my mom. She smiles as she rubs my head. "Mom?" I said. "Hi baby." She said. "How are you here?" I asked. She giggles a little. "I'm not." She said. A confused frown grows on my face. "Mom, you're dead." I said. She stands up from off my bed. She's unusually tall. Like, weirdly tall. She's all black from far away. It's very scary. She starts floating in the air. "No I'm not!" She yelled. I move back in my bed, closer to the wall. She floats a little closer to me. "Get away!" I yell. "NO!" She yelled. I start to cry. "Why are you doing this to me?!" I asked. She just doesn't say anything. She gets close to me so we're face to face. "This isn't the last you're gonna see of me." She said. I jump awake. I'm shaking and balling my eyes out. I sit up and throw my legs over the side of my bed. I get up and walk out of my room. I'm scared to sleep in my room now. I'm definitely not sleeping in my moms room either. I'm shaking and balling as I walk into the guest room where the boys are sleeping. I open the door. A streetlight outside is shining through the window and into the room so it's not completely dark. Jack, Zach, and Jonah are sleeping in the bed closest to the window and corbyn and Daniel are sleeping in the bed closest to the wall. I walk over to corbyn and Daniel bed because it has the most room. I shake corbyn a little as I ball my eyes out, not able to talk or even breathe. Corbyn opens his eyes. "Hey, what's the matter?" He asked with a raspy voice. "I can't breathe." I said as I sobbed. He sits up as I sit on the bed. "Take a deep breath. Calm down." He said, rubbing my back. I start calming down a little but I'm still crying uncontrollably. "What happened?" He asked. "I saw my mom. She was tall and black and she yelled at me." I said. "You saw her?" He asked. "Yeah. It was so scary, corbyn. I'm so scared." I said as I cried. He wraps his arm around me and I lay my head on his chest. "It's okay." He said. "It hurts so bad." I said. "What hurts?" He asked. "My heart." I replied. I feel like it's broken. "Oh, Emma." He said. I continue balling my eyes out. "What's going on?" Daniel asked as he woke up and noticed me crying. "She had a bad dream." Corbyn said. "Awww." He said. He lays the space on the bed between him and corbyn. "Sleep here. You'll be safe with us." He said. Corbyn lets go of me and I lay in between them. Corbyn lays back down and opens his arms. I lay my head on his chest and he wraps his arms around me. I feel so safe with him.

"Yeah she's in this room. She's still asleep. She had a rough night." I hear in the hallway. I hear footsteps enter the room. I open my eyes and see Amelia. She smiles at me. "Hi, darling. How did you sleep?" She asked. I just don't say anything. I look around and the boys aren't sleeping. They must be downstairs. I'm in the bed alone. I remember that I'm going to have to see my dad again today. For the first time in a year. That's scary. And now I have to live with him. "I think she's still waking up." Corbyn said. I look at him. He looks at me. "You alright?" He asked. I just don't say anything. "Well, your father is here if you wanna get dressed and come see him." Amelia said. My heart starts beating. I'm nervous. She walks out. Corbyn sits down on the bed, next to me. "What's up?" He asked. I just don't say anything. He sighs. "Okay. Just get dressed. It's a big day." He said. He puts his hand on my shoulder and rubs us thumb back and forth before walking out of the room. I sigh and get up. I get dressed into black leggings and a black and white adidas shirt. I slip checkers vans and brush my hair. I put on a little bit of mascara and I'm ready. I take a deep breath. I hear a knock at my door. I open it and see corbyn. I move out of the way so he can come in. I close the door behind him and sit on the bed. He sits next to me. He just looks at me. Every time he looks at me, my heart melts. I feel like I can be myself in front of him. I think I like him. And not in a fan girl way. He gets a little closer to me. "What?" I asked. He grins a little and looks down at the floor. He's blushing. "What?" I asked, giggling a bit. He looks up at me and puts his hand on my cheek. He pulls me in closer and his lips touch mine. It's like it happened in slow motion. We start making out. We lay down as he's on top of me. It's like we're about to have sex...... I don't know but I like it. I'm not gonna lie. We continue making out until we hear a knock at the door. We stop and he immediately gets off of me. We both sit up on the bed like nothing happened. The door opens and I see Amelia. "Hey. Is everything alright?" She asked. Me and corbyn look at each other. "Yeah." I said. She smiles. "Okay. Your father is waiting. So come down." She said. "Okay." I said. I stand up and walk out of the room with Amelia. Corbyn follows as he walks next to me. Our fingertips touch as our arms are swinging next to each other. I think about the make out session I just had with him. I've been dreaming about it for so long and now that it's finally happened, it's even better than how I imagined. As I walk down the stairs, I see my dad. He looks the same as he always did as I grew up. He notices me and smiles. "Emma! My girl! I missed you so much!" He said happily. My heart is racing. I just don't say anything as I walk down the stairs. He opens his arms for a hug. I get scared and hang onto corbyn. "Hey, what's wrong? Don't you wanna give your old man a hug?" He asked. I hold onto corbyn, tightly, as I'm shaking. "It's okay, Emma." He said. I take a deep breath and let go of him. My dad walks closer to me and opens his arms. I just stand there like a statue. He wraps his arms around me and I stand still. "I missed you." He said. I look at all the boys as they look at me with sympathy. He stops hugging me and looks at me. "You look just like your mother." He said. It's silent for a second and tears start to fill my eyes. "Um, okay so you've both signed the paperwork. You guys are free to go." Amelia said. My dad smiles. "Great! Let's go." He said to me. I start shaking and look at the boys. "Come on. What are you waiting for?" He asked. I run up to Jonah and give him a hug. He squeezes me tightly knowing I won't be able to go back on tour with him and the guys. Then I give Daniel a hug. "We can FaceTime whenever you want, okay?" He asked. I nod as I wipe a tear. Then I give Jack and Zach a hug. Then I get to corbyn. I squeeze him so tight. "I'm sorry." He whispered to me. Tears fall down my face. "I love you guys." I said. They all smile. "We love you too." They all said at the same time. They give me one last group hug until my dad grabs my wrists. "I don't got all day, okay?" He said trying to seem nice but he was angry. He starts pulling me a little. "No! I didn't get to say bye to Olivia!" I said. "Too late." He said. I start crying as he pulls me out of the house. I look at the boys. Daniel wipes a tear off his cheek. He slams the door shut behind us as he pulls me to his car. "Owe you're hurting me!" I said. He rolls his eyes. "Quit your whining!" He yelled at me. We got into his truck and he speeds off. "Where are we going?" I asked. "We're going to my house." He said. I take a deep breath and lay my head back. I don't want to live with my father. I know I don't have a choice but this is the worse possible place for me to go. But I deserve this. I feel like I let everyone down all the time. "We're here." He said, 10 minutes later. I look out the window. It's a small house. It's big enough to fit me and him but there's probably not much room. "Get out." He said. I get out with him and we walk into the house. It smells like weed and beer in here. When we walk into the living room, I see a lady. She has blonde, knotty hair, and her makeup is a mess. Like she just woke up. Her clothes are short and don't fit, and she has a bottle of whiskey in her hand. She looks at me with a disgusted look. Next to her is a boy. he looks so familiar. He looks about my age. He's wearing all black. His hair is also blonde. He's actually kinda cute. He looks like a nice boy. "This is my girlfriend, Stacy." He said. Girlfriend? Already? I give her a fake grin. "Hi." I said, trying to be polite. "Well you're a pretty girl, aren't you?" She said as she stands up from the couch and gets closer to me. I smile, awkwardly. She plays with my hair a little. "Maybe you can date my boy here." She said. I look at him. "Mom, come on. Don't hook me up with girls." He said. "Fine." She said. "Emma, this is Stacy's son, Brandon." My dad said. "We know each other." He said. "We do?" I asked. "Yeah. I'm Brandon....jakes best friend. I was at your house, at the party." He said. "Oh yeah. Sorry." I said remembering. He holds out his hand intending to shake it even though we've already met. I shake it and smile. "Hi." I said. He smiles back at me. "So, you guys have to share a room if that's okay. There's only two bedrooms." My dad said. "I guess that's fine. If it's fine with you." I said to Brandon. "Yeah that's fine." He said. "Okay. Well we're gonna go in our room. Don't come in." My dad said. He grabs Stacy's hand and they walk into their room, laughing. "They're gonna fuck." Brandon said. I make a disgusted face. "Are they drunk?" I asked. "They're plastered." Brandon said. I laugh and roll my eyes. "My dads always been an alcoholic. I wanted him to quit but I was too scared to tell him too." I said. "Why were you scared?" He asked. I'm silent for a second. "Never mind." I said. It's quiet. "Do you wanna see our room?" He asked. I nod and follow him into a room. There's only one big bed. "We have to share this bed. It's big so it's fine, right?" He asked. We have to share a bed? I don't even know this kid! "Yeah, it's fine." I said, lying. My dad's still a drunk, I have to bunk with a boy I've never even met, My mother died, and my best friend hates me. What could be worse? I sit down on the bed and rest my head on my hands. I have a headache. "You alright?" Brandon asked. I sigh. "Uh, yeah." I said. "Okay. I'll let you explore the room or whatever." He said. I nod and he walks out, closing the door behind him. I lay down as a tear falls down my face. I don't think I can do this. I sit up and look around in my bag for the sleeping pills I had. I brought them just incase I needed them cause sometimes I have panic attacks and taking those help. I put two pills in my hand and dry swallow them. I lay back down and look up at the ceiling. As tear fall down my face, I think about everything in my life right now. This sucks. It really sucks.