House of Soul

I DON'T KNOW

It is that time again
The time for war
The battle of the heart
The time when my mind is blank
And my subconscious dead
The time when I don’t know
Either what to say or do
You hold my hand
But I don’t know when you’ll let go
I don’t know if I should let go or hold on
I don’t know if you want me to stay or not
You say it’s okay
You say it’s human to err
But why do you define me by my past mistakes?
I merely slapped a face
But you see my hands covered in blood
You opened the door for me
But why do you treat me like an outcast?
You say it is well
But why do you turn your back
And murmur to your new friends
Saying I’ve always been the villain to your story
I don’t know if I should pretend to be ignorant
And act like I don’t see your fake smile
Nor hear your grumbling
Nor feel your insecurity

I light my candle for the room to shine
But you play blind and see darkness instead
I don’t know what you want anymore
I don’t know if I’m supposed to be vocal
And talk things out
Or let you slowly kill me with your silence
The only thing I know is that you can’t forget
And I don’t know if I can stay here anymore
I’m tired of pretending
The mask I have on is fading
Soon my true self will be in the open
But I don’t know if you’ll recognize me
For your eyes are blurred by grudges