Dear Good Guy...
I've met a lot of you, well, at least the ones who aren't hiding away and trying to convince
themselves they love the single life after giving up on dating. And I've met a lot of the
ones you and others would call the "Bad Boys!" You're resentful (and jealous) of those
guys always getting the girl when you know you're great boyfriend material. I get it.
Listen, it's not that we think the Bad Boys are better than the Good Guys because we
know they aren't going to be permanent in our lives. The thing is, they understand what
we need and want and are willing to risk rejection in hopes of giving it to us. You can do
this too without changing your values or faking it until you make it while being genuinely
and wonderfully YOU. So step away from the home improvement projects that you're
using to distract you on lonely nights and take the lessons shared here so you can get
the girl.
What do the Bad Boys do that you aren't doing?
1. They Text
No one is a good dater in this day and age (regardless of your age) without making the
smartphone your friend. My number one message to men who ask me for advice is to
learn to build and maintain momentum with women... this is why texting is your Friend,
not your Enemy! The Bad Boys know, no matter how long we've known them, that we love
that "Good Morning" text... we love hearing you are thinking of us during the day... and we
love your "sweet dreams" text as we drift off to sleep! This work for you not only because
women love knowing you're thinking about them, but it keeps YOU at the forefront of
their minds, too!
2. They Flirt
The Bad Boys always compliment where they can but never in a fake way. They also
know how to tease in a way that makes a girl tease back... and that banter is a huge
turn-on. They also know how to give a little sexual innuendo without being sexually overt.
In fact, none of the Bad Boys I know have ever sent me a dick pic... the good guys,
however, have more times than I can count. The Bad Boys will also open the door for a
sexual entendre and then see what the girl does with it. If she plays along, great and if
not, he doesn't push, he just keeps up the rest of the banter until she's comfortable.
3. They Pursue
The Bad Boys strike while the iron is hot. These are the online guys who are going to ask
us out right away... they aren't going to coyly say we should really meet without
immediately asking what day works for us. They don't listen to the pickup artist guys who
say to not show interest or respond to messages quickly... they're interested and not
afraid to show it. Life is too full of great women to play games. The Bad Boys are going
to text or call every day without getting discouraged if we can't meet the day they
originally hoped. They are willing to plan and plan ahead and aren't the last-minute guy unless she says that is all that works on her end. In other words, they don't give up the
chase!
4. They know what they want
They want us... and that doesn't scare them. They know that with any risk, rejection is
possible without being personal, but not asking is already a rejection they created
themselves. They aren't afraid to say what kind of relationship they are interested in or
that they are so attracted to you because of your brain, hair, legs or spirit. I find most
Good Guys like you, overthink every. damn. thing! Overthinking isn't sexy. Taking liberties
when you want something is! If you read some of the work of Esther Perel, she talks
about the man 'taking', as an act of aggression, being key to a woman feeling desired.
Sure, we want long and slow love-making sometimes, but what we fantasize about more
often is you walking in the door and just taking us.
5. They love women
This will come to a great surprise to many of you. It will also surprise you that a lot of the
Good Guys have a chip on their shoulder against women. But the Bad Boys simply love
women. Now there is a difference between a womanizer (a pickup artist who loves a
'pump and dump', insulting women to get them into bed and trying to fill their own
insecurities with notches on their bedpost) and a lover of women. A lover of women will
never have a "type" because they can find things to appreciate about many different
types. This love comes out in the way they treat us, the way they respect us and the way
they have sex with us. There is a certain reverence that allows them to walk in their
masculinity and us to walk in and be appreciated for our femininity.
And trust me, Good Guys, when we are on dates with you, not only do we wonder about
your confidence and self-esteem if you aren't doing these things, we also wonder about
your opinion of women in general. We can feel seething disdain no matter how well you
thinking you're hiding it from us or even, yourself.
So, Good Guys of the world, don't change your values or what you have to offer once you
get into a relationship, but add these tips to your method. Make a mind shift about
women and remember you have the advantage of pure motives with an eye on long-term
relationships as a prize. Keep at it and I just bet, the amazing women that you are
seeking are going to be giddy when they see they have a Good Morning text from you!
Lovingly,
Single women who want to be chased by Good Guys
