Yuta should've been happy. He should've been ecstatic, after all, this was what he dreamt about over a year ago.
Ever since Sicheng had gotten better (sort of, Sicheng still coughed until he vomited and stopped breathing for scary amounts of time once in a while, but nowhere near as often as he used to), it was like somewhere inside him, a switch had flipped. Every chance he could get, Sicheng attached himself to Yuta. At first, Yuta was pleasantly surprised. But now, he worried about the real reasoning behind it. He wondered how damaged Sicheng really was, and if this was his way of coping with everything that had happened. Yuta had nothing against sex, nothing at all. But Sicheng's sudden boost in sex drive was getting excessive, and if he was using it to push away his emotions, it might not end well.
Sicheng curled his thumbs into Yuta's belt loops, his other fingers digging into the skin under his shirt. Sicheng detached himself from Yuta's neck, and gently brushed his against the underside of his jaw. "Yuta," Sicheng started. His low voice was softer than usual. "Are the others asleep?"
Yuta groaned when Sicheng sunk his teeth into his shoulder. He lifted his head, smiling ear to ear and Yuta swore he had never seen anything so beautiful in his entire life. His heart raced in his chest, and all the worry he had vanished.
"Everyone but Yukhei," He said as he raised a hand to push Sicheng's overgrown black hair out of his face. "But he's outside."
Sicheng wore a thin, loose fitted white t-shirt that was stretched out to expose his collar bones. Yuta pushed the light material off of one shoulder with his nose and left small butterfly kisses over his shoulder. Another thing Yuta knew Sicheng loved, was to be kissed. Whether it was his lips, his cheeks, his forehead, neck, shoulders, arms, hands, fingertips, thighs, et cetera. Intimate or not, it didn't matter. And Yuta loved giving them just as much as Sicheng liked receiving.
Outside, Yukhei insisted on guarding the door, just in case the mob that had chased Jisung that afternoon was still hanging around looking for him. Yuta wasn't going to sleep anyways, he wanted to be able to hear if anything went wrong.
"Good." And with that, Sicheng went back to work, this time focusing more on his upper chest and shoulders. Yuta knew he would look ridiculous tomorrow, but what was he going to do? Tell him 'no'? Fuck you.
Yuta leaned back against the wall and pulled his knees up to press Sicheng—who had been straddling him—against his chest. Yuta wrapped his arms tight around his waist and rested his chin on Sicheng's shoulder. Sicheng could hardly move since he was squished against Yuta, who only squeezed tighter the more he pushed away. "What is this?"
Yuta inhaled deeply. "Can we just lay here? I want to hold you." He said softly, loosening his grip enough for Sicheng to lean back to look at him. Yuta cupped his face in his hands, planting a kiss on Sicheng's squished lips when he squeezed his cheeks together.
Sicheng grunted and pulled his face out of Yuta's hands. He leaned forward and rested his forehead against the elder's.
"After?" His hands were already working at the zipper on Yuta's jeans.
Well . . . maybe he worried too much. Sex wasn't a bad way to cope, was it? It wasn't hurting anyone. At least Sicheng wasn't hurting himself or acting out. In most ways, he was almost the same as he used to be. Only now, he had stepped up to take care of the younger boys. He seemed to be trying to redeem himself, since he was too sick to do anything while Taeyong, Mark, Kun, Jaehyun, and Yuta did everything. He deserved to feel good, to unwind and be taken care of. He wasn't going to get any sort of relief or relaxation anywhere else, not now or any time soon.
He remembered it took a while for their relationship to take off, though Yuta wasn't sure if he ever even asked Sicheng to be his boyfriend. Perhaps it just sort of happened. Not that Yuta wouldn't have asked, he took a liking to Sicheng almost immediately, and a few weeks later, after some light flirting and several eye rolls from Taeil, Sicheng had Yuta wrapped around his finger. Maybe it hadn't been fair, Sicheng let Yuta do everything for him but wouldn't accept his affection for what felt like forever. Still, it had all been worth it.
