Those stupid fucking doctors are taking me in for ANOTHER mental evaluation. Shouldn't they know I'm fucking insane already? They literally evaluated me 2 days ago, and now they're at it again. Just the normal questions; have you been feeling any violent or homicidal tendencies in the past 30 days? Have you had any suicidal thoughts/actions in the past 30 days? Who's your favorite Naruto character? This went on for a while, until it came to the ink blot test.
Everything was normal at first, seeing the usual stuff. A headless goat, people dying, Satan's asshole... but then I saw one in particular that stood out. I didn't know exactly what had been so special about it, but then I looked closer. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. In clear, bold letters, it read: "You're an insane gay cunt!" Well, I already knew that. Oh, wait, that's not what it said. I looked again, but this time making sure to do three trips backflips along with eating my own ass and smoking an entire blunt. I could read it clearly now. "Furries are planning world domination". I couldn't believe what I was seeing! I quickly told the doctor what I saw, but they just played it off as me being fucking crazy again. "No! You don't understand, none of you do!" I yelled, tears welling up in my eyes.
I ran, all the way to the front desk of the psych ward. I tried to tell them what I saw, but all they did was sedate me with the booty juice and threw me into a pickle suit. Well, that's just great! I'm now walking around in a weird green stiff dress, with nothing on underneath it!
The next day I was called down to the psychologist's office. He put on a mask of fake concern, 1@but I knew it was just a facade. In fact, I also knew his biggest secret: he's an anime antagonist! And of course I am the anime protagonist, so I knew he was out to get me. "Do you know what brings you here today, Stacy?" He asked me. "I told you not to call me that!" I screamed, furious. "I've told you a million times, call me Lord Farquuad the third!" He just sighed and continued on the conversation. "I've heard about you seeing some interesting things in an ink blot test. Do you mind telling me what you was in the last one you were given?" He said. I already know that he knows, but I tell him anyways. "Furries are planning world domination! I'm not lying, I swear I'm telling the truth! We have to warn-" "I'm going to have to stop you there." He said, cutting me off. "Stacy-" "Lord Farquuad the Third, you imbecile!" I yelled. "Anyways" he sighed. "I have to inform you, furries aren't taking over. Didn't you hear? The gamers are beating them in the war! We're completely safe." He told me reassuringly. But I wasn't having it. "FUCK! WHY DOESN'T ANYONE BELIEVE ME?!" I ran out of the office.
I ran and collapsed on the floor of the main lobby. I cried. For how long, I'm not really sure. I looked up to the ceiling and broke into song. 🎶"Hit or miss-"🎶 "shut the fuck up you asshat weeb. I'm trying to read." Said the guy sitting in the corner, edgily. "NONE OF YOU UNDERSTAND MY PAIN!" I wailed, tears streaming down my face once again. But then, I had an epiphany. I needed to escape, to warn the world! Now, this may seem like a pretty easy task. But trust me, it's anything but easy. I have tried to escape multiple times in the past, my latest attempt was last month when I tried to flush myself down the toilet. I really thought it would work, too...
I rushed to my room and slammed the door. I went for my secret stash of writing utensils, but only to discover they had been confiscated during room checks. "GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!" I screamed in rage, and dragged my mattress off the bed and threw it into the hallway. It hit a nurse who was passing by whilst doing her rounds. I cringed and gave a quick "sorry!" before retreating back into my room. But then I remembered; I had stored an extra pencil in a loose panel on the ceiling. I went and stood on my chair to retrieve it, but fell on my ass in the process. That's gonna leave a mark...
I took out a piece of paper and began to draw out my plan. This time, I would sneak out by channeling the almighty power of Shrek. Then, when I have accumulated enough power, I will bust my way out of here! It's fool proof! I read over the paper and memorized my plan, then I ate the paper. Can't have anyone finding that now, can I? I quickly sat in a seiza position on the floor and started praying to the almighty overlord. But, before I could finish, a code green was called. I went out to the front desk to see what was going on, and some edgy kid had picked a fight with one of the nurses. "Fight, fight, fight!" I chanted excitedly. The edgy kid punched me so hard I flew out a window. Well, that's one way to escape.
I quickly started telling random strangers about my discoveries on the furry take over. They would look confused but then looked me up and down before looking scared and fleeing. I didn't know why at first until I looked down at myself; I was still wearing my Kevlar pickle lookin ass suit! I looked like a lunatic! (Well, more than I usually do) I still have to tell people about the furry takeover. But first, some clothes...
