As I walked into the Dollar Tree to hopefully find clothes there somehow, I couldn't help but notice an obese woman on an electric wheelchair. As she slowly turned a corner, her leg was gashed open by a display fence. Blood gushed all over the floor, but the woman just stared at it for a few seconds before making weird moaning noises. A few minutes later a stretcher was brought in and she was taken away in an ambulance. 'Huh, that was weird' I thought to myself. Later I would come back to that very same Dollar Tree to see a poorly replaced square of carpet, with blood still on the carpet around it...
I quickly walked away from the scene, hoping no one noticed my current "outfit". I browsed the aisles but quickly stopped in my tracks when I saw a T.V. magically appear in front of me. It was the news? I looked on, "breaking news! A psych ward patient has escaped, and he is deemed very dangerous. His name is Stacy Anna Mae, and this is his picture. Now, on with the weather..." I couldn't believe what I was seeing. That quick?! I need to find a disguise, fast!
I ran to the toy section and quickly grabbed as many costume pieces as I could. I obviously didn't have any money, so I booked it. The employees just watched me with a bored look in their eyes. I guess they really don't like their jobs...
I ran and ran until I saw a shed in someone's backyard. Perfect! I just need to go in there and collect my thoughts, and then get out of this awful pickle suit. I swiftly walked in and closed the door behind me. I didn't have any time to waste, so I quickly threw off my pickle suit and took s look at what I had gotten in my rush. The items consisted of: a ninja mask, fairy wings, a plastic military helmet, a foam sword, and three fabric spy vests. I guess this will have to do.
I threw on the ninja mask, and put the military helmet over it. Nothing wrong with a little extra protection! I put the mini fairy wings on my back, and then looked over the rest of my items. I guess I'll have to try to make pants out of the vests somehow.
After 20 minutes of work with a sewing kit I had found in the shed, I finally had mediocre shorts. This will have to do. I decided I would take the foam ninja sword. Never know when the furries will try to attack. All of a sudden, I hear footsteps outside of the shed, along with children giggling. Oh no... The door swung open to reveal three kids, all in swimsuits. I guess they were looking for pool toys. As soon as they look at me, I'm sure they'll scream, so I get ready to book it. But then, something unexpected happened; they smiled and squealed with delight. "Woah!! A cool ninja warrior is in our shed?! Chloe, go get dad!" One of the two little girls ran off, leaving just the little boy and other girl with me, gawking over how "cool" I was. I needed to act, and fast! Wait, I have an idea...
"WELP SMELL YA LATER" I yelled as I charged out the shed doors, but immediately tripped. As soon as I looked up, I saw the dad walking towards me. Oh, how wonderful, now I'll probably be charged as a sex offender! But then, he made his way over to me and... "Hey what the hell are yo-mmpf!" I was cut off as he leaned down and kissed me passionately. What the actual fuck? Well, this took an interesting turn...
