Natasha's Secret

Her Loss

Natasha stepped out of the room currently buzzing with the activity of soldiers preparing for battle. She was truly scared this time, scared of what might happen to her as she faced the fight of her life. She rang the most used number on her phone the landline to her apartment a familiar voice picks up and she begins speaking in Russian.

Steve walks out into the otherwise empty hallway where Nat is standing speaking quietly in Russian. He waves to get her attention mouthing "T'Challa wants to talk to us." She says something in Russian, which is unmistakable to him, because of the time spent with Bucky. He's taken aback by the words he never expected to hear Nat saying so meaningfully. So, who was the mysterious stranger that Nat was comfortable saying "I love you." To. However, now was not the time to ask so he brushed it off for later and they hurried to speak with T'Challa before the battle began.

~~~

Natasha was devastated by the loss of two of her closest friends, Sam and Bucky. However, she had more urgent thoughts, since Thanos had done what he said he would Nat worried that fate was cruel and suspected that karma was a bitch. Her fears where proven true when her phone rang this time a different number appeared on her screen, but it was equally familiar

"Elder," Natasha answers anxiously, hoping that her long-time friend and mentor would have good news, but her hope was no match for her realism, she knew this call couldn't possibly be coincidental.

"I'm sorry Nat, I watched her go, she disappeared right in front of me," Elder says tears in his voice over the person they had both loved, the person who was most important to Nat the person who had just left their lives along with half the universe. Tears sprung to her eyes and she choked on the as she tried to talk.

"I'll talk to you later." She said the tears she tried to keep at bay rushing down her cheeks as she pressed end call and slid down against a tree. Her head was in her hands when more people started emerging around her many of them she didn't know but almost all were crying including the racoon which confused her, Steve was also crying despite having held in his tears until he told everyone the news of the people he had seen disappear, T'Challa and Wanda where nowhere to be seen and visions body lay grey and lifeless. Despite all of this Nat didn't care she cried for one person only her heart dying with the death of that person. However, her heart still ached for the others she'd lost adding to her pain and forcing more tears out.

When she finally looked up it was because of someone rubbing her shoulder, Steve stood in front of her a sympathising look on his face, and she knew he saw through her. After all, he'd overheard part of her phone call, he probably understood she'd lost someone important however he couldn't know who.

~~~

It took Steve 5 months to finally confront Natasha about who she had lost. He cornered her in her office where she was working herself to the bone in an effort to drown her heartbreak. He approached her making one of her PB&J sandwiches with a single tear running down her cheek. He looked at her seriously waiting until she finished making the sandwich to speak.

"Do you want to tell me about them," Steve says hoarsely his heart filled with sorrow from his own losses.

"not really," she says taking a bite, swallowing she continues "but I know you won't let it go so here it is."

Natasha breathes deeply swallowing tears that threaten to halt her voice, forcing out the words she'll never be able to repeat.

"Her name was Nadya (pronounced na-ja) she was seven." Natasha whispers silent tears streaming down her face as memories stream through her head " I adopted her when she was 6 months old and her parents died."

Steve goes silent with nat for a few minutes she looks at her sandwich solemnly, tears falling from her face to drip on the hardwood of the table.

"she loved PB&J.," Natasha says on a breath of air the words coming out harshly as she breaks into tears.

Steve comes and hugs her tightly while she shakes violently with each sob, tears streaming down his own face. A long minute later and she has gained enough composure to whisper "I would die for her."