The Most Beautiful Moment In Life

09. Love Is Not Over

Present Day.

Jin slams his palms down on the hood of the truck and rests his forehead against the cold metal. "Just, please, God," he utters. "Please let them all get here."

He hasn't heard from any of them since he left and only found out about Jimin and Hoseok from his parents. They didn't tell him until he returned because of course they assumed he'd been in touch with his friends the whole time. Were they still his friends? After everything that happened, was there still anything between them? Were they even all still alive?

Yoongi's outburst back in March had felt like a punch to the gut. Jin had never held anything over their heads. He never thought he was better than any of them. The fact that Yoongi would say such a thing had cut him to the core. He hasn't talked to Yoongi since that night. In fact, besides updates from his dad about Tae's trial, he didn't hear about any of them while he was in Japan. Living unaware all summer, staying preoccupied with program activities while his friends were suffering at home. It makes him feel even sicker.

The ocean matches the churning in his stomach and he gulps hard, tears pricking his eyes as he glances down at his watch. Their usual meeting time has come and gone. He turns his head either way, looking down the stretch of empty beach in both directions. No one is coming.

Jin lowers his head again to rest it against the hood of his truck. That's it. It's over. Everything has slipped through the cracks and it's all his fault. He should have done more. He should helped Taehyung the first time Namjoon came to him. He should have been there more for the others. For Jimin and Hoseok, Jungkook and Yoongi. For Namjoon. He knew the boy was sleeping in the gas station and he just let him.

What's wrong with me?

They were all dealing with so much crap yet somehow they still had so much fun together. They loved him, they cared about him, they laughed with him. He didn't deserve friends like them. He doesn't deserve any of what he's been given in this life. If he could, Jin would give it all away. He'd trade anything to see his friends again. To hear their voices, to hold them close. But it's too late. He knows that now.

The wind whips the hair at the back of his head, blowing down the collar of his shirt, and leaving a trail of goosebumps down his back. He doesn't move even though he's freezing. He doesn't deserve to feel warmth. Not when it's his own fault that the world has grown so cold. He lifts his head, gaze falling on his red notebook, the pages fluttering. With a hard sniff, he picks it up, slamming it shut and trudges toward the shoreline. He stops at the edge, just out of reach of the tide and looks out at the water. In the distance, waves crash violently. He watches them fold into each other in a salty spray, crumbling under the weight of gravity. He feels like crumbling, himself. Maybe he could just walk in, keep going until the current sweeps him off his feet and pulls him under. He could let the sea wash him away.

Far away.

He looks down at the journal clutched tightly in his hands. A gift from his parents. They always believed in him. Always knew he'd make something of himself some day. None of it matters to him anymore, though. He doesn't want to become a famous writer. He doesn't want to marry some perfect girl and have a perfect family and live a perfect life. He just wants his friends back. Nothing else matters. Not his career. Not his future. Not this stupid journal and everything it represents.

With a frustrated sigh, Jin grips the journal in one hand and draws his arm back behind his head. He's about to fling it as far out into the water as he possibly can when movement to his right catches his attention. With a jerk of his head, he locks eyes with Yoongi.

The boy freezes where he stands about ten feet from Jin's truck. He looks different. His hair is black instead of the mint green making him look even more pale than he already was. He seems smaller too, though maybe that's because he's standing next to the vast ocean.