Underneath The Spotlight [Rusame]

Chapter 9

"Winner is..... " The host said trying to make the whole thing more suspenseful than it is but of course this caught America's attention, As the walked back to were he can see the stage.

"The shooting stars!" The host said as the crowd cheered as a group of girls ran up hugging each other and screaming, smiling and some crying. (Couldn't think of a better name)

America's eyes widen as Canada looked at America with a worried face and put his hand on ame's shoulder and he pushed his hand off. "America are you ok?" Russia said as America looked at Canada and them Russia.

He just felt tears well up in his eyes and he shook his head quickly then said in the most steady voice he can "why yes I am, without a failure I will not be great. It will just make me feel empty like it was to easy"

He tried to lie to himself but is was no use, it hurt him a lot, He left like a failure.

This made them frown as America just looked at them with a smile said "I just need a few minutes to myself" With that without giving anymore information to where on earth he is going to head to he disappeared in the crowd.

Russia wanted to go after him until Ukraine grab his shoulder and shook her head no "you heard him Russia, he needs his space" Russia looked down at her and said "we haven't been here for a long time, bearly know the area."

"He'll take a taxi or use Google Maps or something" Ukraine said. "It's a modern world we live in and we have people to here" Ukraine said trying to convince Russia to leave America alone since she knows and well do the others how much it means to him.

They know he hates to been seen as weak around others.

"Fine but we'll call him later to see if he is okay" Russia said. "Well, duh! Canada seems like he is kinda freaking out already" Ukraine whispered as she looked over to Canada walking back and forth. "Let's go back home, we all had a long day" Ukraine said. "And make sure he is alright he is a big boy" Ukraine added as they walked through the crown back to the hotel.

"He has the key card doesn't he?" Russia said. "Yeah, but we can ask for an extra one for all of us so we don't have one" Canada said as they agreed.

Meanwhile with America he walking along the streets.

"Stupid stupid" America said to himself as he kicked a pebble along the street. "Oh the great America feeling down?" A voice called out as America looked around to see no one but his past self.

"You again" America grumbled to himself. "Why yes it happens to be me! Miss me?" His past self said. "No" America said to himself. "Come on! Don't be a sore sport besides they couldn't see the true beauty of it all Ame" His past self said as America walked to the bridge and looked over the edge closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

He stayed quiet.

"1234, remember breath" His past self said as America open his eyes to his his past self arms crossed on the metal bar, looking into the distance. "I know I'm not going to have a panic attack anyways. Just trying to find peace in myself" America said as he looked away.

"It's like a helium balloon that was undone and rise to the top of the ceiling but stayed there couldn't get out, that's how I feel" America said to himself. "How my happiness feels..... It feels trap by all this anger and sadness you can't identify it's just there you know?"

"You never know why it all started.... You get so use to it that you sometimes forget how it is like to be happy" America said. "I know.... I'm you I felt it I seen a lot as you did we are equal besides I'm dead and your alive part of one of the most powerful countries" His past self said. "You came a long way, ame"

As his past self pat his back which was dead and cold. "We can't change our past but we can focus on the future. Besides UK is a good dad though you have your differences you can always come for advice" His past self said. "Not much people have that"

"How does this have do anything with my father?" America lashed out. "Nothing chill..... It's a reminder okay?" His past self said. "Fine... Let's go before you get any ideas" His past self said. "Nah, it's the easy way out, if I was going to do that might as well die as a legend than just a guy that body was found dead in the river bank"

"Like I was even saying that.... But you think about it?" His past self said as his voice got softer and gentle. "Sometimes, but I mean.... I have to leave mark to thousands! Life gets really hard and sucks but I'm alive but not really there"

"Feelings numb not much built for love nor life but like people say if you breathing you have a purpose on this earth" America said "even if you can't see it, you have to find it" America said.

"Hey! Might be doing eating contests or something but it's better than nothing" America said as the felt his phone ring.

"Hey America were are you? We're worried" Another voice was on the line which was Canada. "On my way home, I'm not that far. Might stop for McDonald's though... " America said as he heard a giggle from the other side.

"Okay, just come back in one piece" Canada said. "I'll try" America said as they both laughed a bit and said there goodbyes he hanged up the phone.

He looked around to see his past self no where in sight, America smiled to himself and enjoy the night sky. It was good to get that out of his system after a very long time, even if it's all fake. He didn't really care.

-------
Hey lovelies I'm not dead.

Just been taking a break for my mental state, which is no good but I'm okay.

Also wattpad for me been tripping out so yeah the song above was the song I wanted to put for the other chapter but I just when for the other song might be added for future a chapter.

Yeah, we got a taste on now America's mental health is.

I promise I'll try to write another chapter for the other book just I have not been very inspired lately and I want it to be decent...

Any grammar errors will be fix later.

I really need to redraw the covers for the book. I might do it in the near future.

Alright lovelies bye!

Love yah lots ❤❤❤