100 Things You Should NEVER Do In Skyrim:

(1-10)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ah the good years of 2012 and 2013, that takes me back. For some reason this story is one of my fondest memories of those two years. I just... Enjoyed writing it so much. I hope you do too. Except... Well I hope you read it instead of-... I've already written it so...

Ahhhhh-

1: Shoot an adventurer in the knee.

It was a lovely day, out in the wild, the trees and grass swaying in the breeze as two adventurers set up their targets.

One man turned to the other after they had finished.

"It's great we can have some target practice before you go off fighting dragons."

"It sure is cousin." Said the other, who proceeded to take his bow in hand and aim at the target not too far away.

"Wait," said the first man. "I may not have set that target up properly." He ran off, but the second man didn't hear him and fired his arrow. Straight into his cousin's knee.

"Aaaaaaggghhh!!!"

"Man I'm so sorry!!"

"I'll never be an adventurer again!!!"

The man watched as his cousin hobbled off in search of another profession. Hopefully one with a lot of guarding...

2: Ride a Dragon.

The Dragonborn flailed his arms in delight as Parthurnax threw him around violently, the lizard-beast bucking uncontrollably on the mountain top. It gave a huff, the dragon version of a human sigh.

He did not sign up for this.

3: Play 'Who Can Shout Louder' with the Dovahkiin.

A little boy ran out onto the street, ready for fun and delight, an hour later he had found none, until a tall, menacing, intimidating, brooding stranger approached.

"Hi mister!!"

"'Sup bruh?" The Dragonborn was trying to keep up with urban slang. He wanted to be a cool superhero.

"Mister, do you want to play a game?"

"Sure man."

The boy looked around, he wasn't feeling like hide-and-seek, or tag.

"Want to play who can shout the loudest?"

"Sure... what are the rules?"

Luckily it was the city's wall that took the force of the Thuum. Rubble was thrown everywhere.

The child started to run.

"You win!" He called out after himself in amazement. A guard looked on, gaping. How could this happen on his first day on the job?!

4: Get a thief as a follower.

The Dovahkiin was not having the best of days, he had just picked an INSANE amount of mushrooms, they were so heavy!! Luckily he found a man who would help him.

"You'll follow me around and carry all my stuff?" The Dragonborn questioned.

"Sure..." Most people would see him as shifty, but the Dovahkiin had true people-assessing skills, this man seemed cool.

"Here we go!" He said a few minutes later, loading him with mushrooms.

He walked down the streets of Whiterun happy to be rid of the load.

"This feels much-" he turned. The man was gone! "Thief!!" He yelled out after the retreating figure, a guard followed in hot pursuit, despite his bad knee.