You've got to believe (a ben bruce fan fiction)

My life is crashing down

Fronz and I decided to go back to my house for some planning.

"Daaaaaad" I yelled as I opened the door

Fronz followed me into the lounge room.

"Hey ky- holy fuck" dad's faced filled with intense shock

Fronz stood with his mouth wide

"Uh guys?" I asked after about five minutes

Dad's eyes began to water

"Chris! I've missed you so much!" Dad cried as he embraced fronz in a hug

"Dad this is where you've been" fronz hugged him tight

"Wait can someone fucking explain I'm so confused" I whined

Ten minutes later I finally got their attention and they stopped sobbing.

"Dad, fronz, someone fucking tell me what's going on" I whined again

"Sit down" my dad sighed

I plopped into the floor and waited for them to explain the nonsense.

"Kyri, I'm so sorry for lying to you. Your mother didn't die during labour. We had our first child, Chris. Chris was six at the time. Your mother became pregnant with you. We were fighting a lot, didn't have much money at all.

Your mother.. Ugh.. She tried to abort you. You were seven months along. It's illegal to abort a child that far along, she had an illegal abortion. I protested it, I didn't want to lose you. I don't see how someone could do that to a child.. You miraculously survived the abortion. I held you close to me, I didn't want to lose my little miracle, the most beautiful baby girl I'd ever seen. The next day your mother tried to take you away to an orphanage. I couldn't lose you so I came here, to England. She refused to let me take Chris. She wouldn't let me see him. I didn't want to leave either of my darling children. Thankfully your mother sent me photos of Chris growing up. I'm sorry I lied to you. It just seemed a lot better than saying that she tried to kill you or telling you she abandoned you. Please forgive me Kyri" dad began to sob

The tears streamed down my face and I ran to my room, slamming the door and locking it.

"Fuck you!!" I screamed, throwing a photo of my mum across the room, shattering the frame

I put in my headphones and blasted bring me the horizon.

As I cried silently I ran my fingers along my faded scars that lined my upper arm. It had been two years since I'd last self harmed but what's the point. My mother wanted me dead. I was just a burden on her. I ruined my family. I tore them apart.

"Fuck it" I huffed and grabbed the pocket knife I keep in my top draw on my bedside table.

"Hm sharp as ever" I laughed

I smiled as the sweet sensation of the cold thin metal sliced my arm.

One for liking ben. Stupid girl. Don't get attached to people.

One for ben and Danah having sex. She's perfect anyway. Better than me.

One for ruining fronz, my idols, childhood

One for breaking my parents apart

One of ruining my mums life

One for being alive.

Pathetic.

I let the blood flow down my arm before wiping it up. I wrapped it in a thin bandage and packed a few things in a bag. Fuck it. I don't wanna be a burden any more. Just one more thing before I leave for good.