06/2019
I confessed my feelings to him but I didn't let him reply. Apparently I was too scared to know.....to know how he really feels.
I was so happy but sad at the same time that I need to let him go....
A week later my friend planned on a meet up, of course they invited him but I didn't expect to after that disaster.
I was at the meet up, apparently I was expecting he won't come but he came....my heart was pounding my mind went crazy.......Of course I didn't talk to him....Just like I told him just treat me like the way we used to...
It still hurts....apparently it felt like he didn't even react or anything.....its like it didn't happened....
After that everything went to the drain...
Feels like the world is always against me...
I left everything for a while, interactions including him and how I see him everyday thru online. I was going on a bitter stage.
After a few weeks...I went back and check if I really moved on or not. But I didn't, just simple gestures, messages I was still jealous....I was still bitter on how he treat other people but when it comes to me.......
sigh I left again because I can't take it anymore.
When will I move on.....when will I'll be okay....
I still like him at this point but I really need to let go...
7/2019
I was excited...I miss him and apparently I miss our bonds together our talks our little jokes...everything about him...But I know everything will be okay because I am trying my best to let go....
This time I remember the time we spent together and the time I was happy...when you agreed on our little meet up from the first time I met him....I still remember how I felt that time.
Apparently hooking arms with him before was just an accident but I felt comfortable.....and during our little walks thru the mall....and his little gentleman gestures.....I felt it again....a lost love.....a love blossoms in me again.....
My heart hurts but not a lot....I cried a little bit because I was really happy.....Thank you
Thank you for being one of my love.
