turning tables | wheesun

ruined

♪ day6 - i would & vixx - the romance is over ♪

zero

today. she will leave. leave everything she has here and everything she's made for herself here. time passed too fast. the last four days she spent with wheein, it would never be enough. the clock ticks, oh how she wishes time was passing backwards. back to the time when she first met wheein, when the small girl carrying a stack of books was late to her class and didn't seem to care at all. it's funny how she used to dislike wheein. she thought the younger was a rude, overconfident person, and maybe even a little spoiled. but wheein was none of those things. in fact, she was the exact opposite. she was kind, shy at heart and was just desperately trying to hold her life together.
how much she has come to like wheein surprised herself. she's never fallen this hard and fast for anyone before, not even byulyi. wheein was just that special. yongsun likes to think fate enjoys playing with her heart. two times she's ever truly liked someone, both of them are vampire hunters.

her bags are packed, ready for her to leave. all she has to do is take them and get on the train bound for another city, far away from seoul. it's four in the morning, she walks silently to wheein's apartment. she does not enter, nor does she knock. she leaves a bouquet of flowers on her doorstep. and she turns away. how easy it would be to walk into the apartment and give wheein a kiss on the forehead. and tell her how much she will miss her. but she doesn't. instead, she lets her legs walk her back to her own apartment, swallowing back the bitter taste at the back of her mouth. she ignores the tears welling in her eyes, only letting herself cry when she's in her room. she lets the tears slip silently down her face, wishing she was stronger than this. heartbreak has never been worse.

wheein wakes up late, because the holidays are finally here. it's maybe about one in the afternoon when she calls yongsun, wondering why she hasn't come to wheein's apartment yet. she usually came by every day. the lady with a robotic voice tells her yongsun's phone isn't available at the moment. maybe she's busy, or sick, wheein thinks.
it's ten at night when wheein opens her door to go out since she needed to buy groceries. she's spent the whole day worrying about yongsun, calling her every hour, flooding her phone with countless messages that don't go through. what could've happened to her? wheein tries to convince herself that maybe yongsun is just very sick, or maybe she lost her phone. if i still can't reach her by tomorrow, i'll go to her apartment.
wheein almost doesn't see the bouquet of flowers on her doorstep. she looks at it in confusion, before bending down to pick it up. magnolias. she closes the door again, still confused. then she realises a folded piece of paper stuck into the side of the bouquet. what was all this? she unfolds the paper. one minute is all it takes to bring her to tears, to hear her heart shatter. another minute to reread it.
because there, on the paper, in yongsun's handwriting, was a goodbye letter.

to my dearest wheeinie,

when you read this, i will be gone. i will be somewhere else, far away from seoul. and i will probably never return. i have no explanation for why i am leaving. i can't tell you that, as much as i trust you. it is not my secret to tell. when you read this, i might be on the train bound for some place far away. i might be regretting this decision. i will be missing you.
i'm sorry that i had to leave you like this. i'm sorry for the empty promises i made to stay. i'm sorry for breaking you like this. i'm sorry. i'm sorry for everything. all the times i made you worry, when i made you frustrated or angry, i'm sorry. for disappointing you like this, i'm sorry.
thank you for the times we spent together, good and bad. even though there were barely any bad times spent with you. thank you for being the light in my life for the past six months. thank you for bringing a world of sunshine and rainbows to me, even though i don't deserve it. thank you for staying by my side, even though i don't deserve you. thank you for making me happy, even if it was only for a short time. thank you for always being so sweet and gentle, for being so forgiving and innocent, for being so warm and welcoming. thank you for being an angel, my angel. one that heals me. thank you for being you, the you that i adore with the whole of my broken heart. for everything, i thank you, wheein.
i will never forget what we had, every moment we spent together. from the first time i met you to the last time
i saw you, i swear to you i will remember every single second of it. i will remember every word you said to me, every time you smiled at me, every time you laughed, every time we kissed. and i will keep these memories we shared together until i die. i will keep them as secrets for us to share only, even though we are hundreds of miles apart. i will keep them as dreams i will think back on, and they will make me better, just like you did. because when i think of all the memories i love the most, you're in every single one of them.
please don't look for me. don't bother with me. live on and be happier than you are now. forget me, if you can. if not, keep me in your heart silently and find someone else who will make you happier than me. find someone who will not disappoint you like i have, someone who will not leave you like i have. i assure you i will live well. and so should you. you are so young and full of youth and innocence, do not waste it on me, me who does not deserve your time and affection.
and lastly, i hope you are always well and happy. i know you are strong. i know you will be better.
remember when i asked you if you would be happy for me? from now onwards, i ask that of you. i ask for you to be happy. you made that promise to me, now it is time for you to keep it.
and even though i know i've made many promises to you, ones that i never managed to fulfil. most of which i know i have broken by leaving.
but now, i make one last promise to you. i promise you that i love you. and i always will, until the end of time. i'm sorry that i never got to tell you this in person, because i only realise it now when i am leaving. but i do.