Poems ☪

Pt. 16

Its been a year and two months since the day we met

What a year it was, i wish i would have ended it when i had the chance.

Nothings gotten better but we no longer speak.

Its been four months since i last heard your voice, crying on the end of the line and begging me not to leave.

The hormones i take cant remove how i felt to be held by you when i went by that name.

I hate that i knew you but i love the memory of you.

You refused to say my preferred name

God forbid you call me your boyfriend.

I couldn't have this abuse and so i left.

But some days i think i made a mistake.

I could never hate you as much as i hate myself.

You have me thinking pain is normal- how do i survive when my survival feels like battle?