Winter [Completed]

TWENTY THREE

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December 25th
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"Remember, growing may feel like breaking at first."

—unknown

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Kelly POV

When Jordan picked me up, I was hysterical. I could barely form a complete sentence without bursting into tears, and I was hurting so bad.

Jordan was concerned, but empathetic, and didn't make me explain myself. Instead, he made me hot cocoa, and let me sleep in his bed. He even offered to sleep on the floor to stay close to me, but I wouldn't let him do that. Instead, I pulled him into bed with me, and he held me as I cried myself to sleep.

It was a nice feeling...to be held. I couldn't remember the last time I'd felt so safe with another person. Thinking about it now, the feeling is intense enough to make me want to cry.

But, waking up to the rhythm of his heartbeat as I lay my head on his chest makes me want to do other things. And as I watch him sleep peacefully, I can't help the unfriendly thoughts that pop into my mind.

I absentmindedly trace my fingers along the black ink that swirls in patterns on his chest and follow the path down his arm, gasping when his eyes flutter and his grip on my waist tightens.

When he opens his eyes, the look on his face makes my mind stop working properly. I can feel his heartbeat quicken as he smiles down at me. "Hey," he says, his voice raspy. "How you feelin?"

I yawn, covering my mouth and blushing when I feel his gaze on me. I find my hands fiddling with the neckline of his muscle shirt before I catch myself. My face heats intensely and I pull away from his warm embrace and smile coyly. "Sorry."

"Don't sweat it," Jordan smiles as I run a hand through my short hair.

I'm only wearing shorts and a t-shirt, so why do I feel so hot?

"What's on your mind, K?" Jordan leans up on his elbow as I sit across from him and glance away.

"Nothing." I shrug, refusing to meet his eyes.

"Hey," he says, placing an hand on my leg, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Talk to me. You had me scared last night. What's going on?"

My nostrils flare as I think about Ethan and Imani for the first time today. Tears prick my eyes and I shut them tightly, willing them to go away. My breath hitches and I sniff as the tears come anyway.

When I open my eyes, Jordan is there, blurry but close as he wipes my tears away with the pads of his thumbs. "Hey, hey," he says softly. "Please don't cry, Kelly."

He frowns, cupping the side of my face with his massive hand. I lean into his touch, gripping his wrist as I pull myself together. "I t-thought we were friends," I mutter weakly, taking a shaky breath.

"We are friends." Jordan frowns, confused.

"N-no. Not us," I laugh halfheartedly as I glance briefly at him. "Me and Imani."

Jordan waits patiently for me to elaborate.

"I was just starting to like her and... and now," my voice cracks and I don't even finish before I'm bawling again. "It was all a big... fucking ...lie," I say, once I'm calm again. "Jordan, they were lying to me this whole time. How c-could you do that to someone you claim t-t-to love?"

Jordan looks at me with a sadness that pulls at my heart. "Kelly, I'm so sorry," he says. "What can I do to help? I-I want to help you."

I clutch my chest as my sobs wrack my body. Sniffing, I don't fight when he pulls me close to him and holds me in his arms. "T-take this pain," I whisper in between sobs, "please take it away...take it all away."