A Falling Sky

Chapter 19

My sweatshirt lays crumpled on the ground and I am standing in front of my mirror naked, but who cares? I’m in my own room anyway. My post-shower ritual needs doing and I like to air-dry.

A few minutes later, after my eyebrows are all tweezed, my makeup is all rubbed off and my lotion is all soaked into my skin, I look at my fresh face in the mirror once more. The bangs are intertwined with the rest of my wet hair. When they aren’t curtaining my forehead like normal, I feel like I look about seven-years-old. My cheeks look more round and puffy than normal today, as if I didn’t lose my baby fat all those years ago. My eyes rake the rest of my face in the mirror to make sure that it really is me. I don’t know, I feel like I look so different… so young right now.

That is, until my eyes find themselves.

These are definitely mine as I look into the chocolate irises. They have a ring around the outer edge that is so dark, it almost seems black. And is it just me, or are my pupils dilated and bigger than normal? They are embedded in deep brown pools, of which you almost cannot see because of the black dots.

When girls wear makeup, it is supposed to have the effect of making eyes look bigger and more dramatic. However, in my case, I feel like my eyes are ten times larger when I don’t put that line of black on my lids. This is what they mean when people say “doe-eyed.” Maybe it is the pupils being so large, maybe it is the light reflecting off of them, maybe it is that I look seven right now—but I am doe-eyed.

In the mirror, I look down at my body to make sure that I indeed have breasts and full hips and everything else that a 22-year-old woman is supposed to have. That’s when I see the rippling in my chest again. Is the mirror playing tricks on me? Yes, the quiver that I can’t quite explain well enough is pulsing right in the middle of my chest. Deciding not to trust the mirror’s version, I look down at my physical body. I can’t see any such phenomenon when I search myself.

I bring my puzzled expression back up to look at my face in the mirror again and, this time, instead of looking like a small child, I look impossibly older. How did this happen? My blonde hair has a few strands of gray mixed in and my skin has only a hint of wrinkles— but it is mostly around my eyes to show years of laughter and happiness. My brown eyes are bright and young, though, and they have a spark in them that I didn’t see just a few seconds ago. If this is what I look like when I’m older, then damn, so be it. I look as beautiful as ever.

I lift my hand up to touch my face, but my older mirror-self doesn’t follow. No… my mirror counterpart only warmly smiles at me. Wait a minute, I recognize that smile.

“Mom?” I say and goosebumps immediately rise.

“Hi, baby girl.” She says in that wonderful voice that I haven’t heard for 15 years.

###

I WAKE UP WITH a start, taking deep breaths and trying to figure out where I am. I recognize a table, a TV, a couch, a lamp… Okay, so this is my living room. My head is not on a pillow, though, but on a pair of legs. I scramble to lift myself up and my wild eyes land on Harry who is looking alarmed.

“Are you alright?” he asks, raising his arms to show that he is not a threat. Why would he do that? I know he would never hurt me. But then I realize I must be acting like a crazy woman: shooting off of him, heart beating fast, eyes darting around. He’s probably afraid that I was going to hurt him. I calm down as he waits for my answer.