R&R| Anime Fanfiction Reviews

A Serpent's Curse

Title: A Serpent's Curse

Author: CitizenofNightVale

Find it at: CitizenofNightvale

Fanfiction: Naruto/Tokyo Ghoul

Characters: I would just like a better description of the main character. Hair colour, skin tone, eye colour, etc. Not to mention that I don't know what his bikaku looks like, I simply know that it is a bikaku. Next time he goes to the river, maybe have him describe himself. On another note, sorry but I thought he was a girl at the start because his gender wasn't really mentioned in the book, but it was in the summery. I will keep referring to him simply as "he" or "him" because his name hasn't been revealed. The coyote pack was great though, along with Udon, I love that noodle. I think you made me cry at the end of chapter 2.

Plot: As far as plot goes it's good thus far. There isn't many chapters at the moment, but there's a future to the book for sure. I know from experience that doing something not many people have done gets you recognized. There isn't many Tokyo Ghoul and Naruto crossovers (well there's mine and one or two other popular ones) but it's not something a lot of people write. Capitalize on that and make it unique! The crossover thing can work really well with enough time, patience, and effort!

Writing: As far as writing, it's been done fantastically. Punctuation is on point (ha ha), paragraphs are clear, and even the way situations are described is perfect. All the senses are used to describe the surroundings, really using imagery to your advantage. There were a few spelling errors, but that happens to everyone, it's unavoidable. Overall, really well written so far. I was going to mention the three year timeskip, but in just as bad for big skips so I'll leave that be, it's not like when I skipped four years. Back to spelling errors; just be careful. Make sure you use the right form of that word. For example: there, their, and they're. If you need any help of advise for editing, I'm always happy to help, I can even help show you how the different forms of a word can be used.

Notes: The book isn't very far in yet, but it is good so far. I suggest you give it a read if you haven't already!

And here are my ratings:

Characters: 3/5 shurikens

Plot: 3/5 shurikens

Writing: 4/5 shurikens

Overall rating: 3.3/5 shurikens

A/N

I'm happy to help any of you with your writing, so if you ever need help feel free to message me! I actually enjoy conversation quite a bit!