Downfall | ✔️

Chapter 1.

|| Notice: This story contains things such as; strong language, sexual content and topics which people may not be comfortable with such as alcohol / substance abuse issues. ||

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"How the hell did I end up in this situation?" I ask myself as I stare out onto the dimly lit road, my head resting against the car window. It's cold surface startling me at first - although I don't mind in this moment. I wipe a small tear from my cheek as quickly and discretely as possible before he notices. I really don't want to make things worse, or make him angry. I love him. I love him with every fibre of my being and with everything I have.

I watch as we drive out of the place I once believed was my home, not knowing when, or if I would ever be able to return. Not knowing if the familiar brickwork which encased some of my favourite memories would ever feel like home again, without him. The thought feels like a sharp punch to the chest, an agonising weight pulling me under. I try to shake it off but fail. "How could you let this happen?" I internally scold myself as I dab my tear stained cheeks.

The question plays on my mind like a broken record, repeating over and over. I feel like a fool, a naïve fool. I never considered that one single person could make me completely reroute my life. I always praised myself on my morals and how strong minded I was, my resilience, until him. Love, it's a dangerous thing — all consuming and destroying. Though he will never be one of my mistakes. Or, just maybe, he is. But he is my favourite mistake to make, over, and over again.

I made the decision to take a chance on him, and once I had fallen everything since then was unavoidable; the good, the bad, the heartache. It was the type of love that consumes you in a way you never knew was humanly possible, the love that makes you forget everything else, and for a second — you can breathe.

When he looked at me with those eyes, it was like every morcel of air left my body, entering the atmosphere like midnight smoke. Being encased in his arms brought me peace I had never known before — a calming to the chaos in my head, making the outside world a mere memory. The sound of his heartbeat ringing in my ears as my head rested on his chest, my favourite sound in the world.

He is a rose with the most powerful roots, leading directly to my heart and soul — bounding and tethering himself to me eternally, despite his thorns.

That's my downfall, you see. I always try to see the best in people, the light — even when there isn't any to be found. I create it, the good. I tell myself that deep down they are the person that I have created in my mind, they deserve a happy ending, and that I can fix them. That is my downfall. My greatest downfall.

~ Six months earlier ~

As my eyes flutter open to the sound of my deafening alarm, I feel a wave of dread. I roll onto my stomach and grunt into the pillow below me at the thought of dragging myself out of bed, I couldn't be less of a morning person if I tried. I contemplate how long I can remain in the comfort of my covers without making myself too late. How late really is too late? It's not the day I'm dreading as such, more so the preparation for it. If I could prance around in a sweater and cotton shorts all day, I would. Sadly, that isn't socially acceptable.

I roll back over and pick up my phone from underneath my pillow, the light from the screen making me screw my eyes shut. Every morning I blind myself, yet I still do it without fail. I'm way behind schedule due to my sheer procrastination and have missed calls, and three unanswered texts from my mom. I shuffle into the bathroom, clicking the letters on my phone to construct a reply — before deciding against replying altogether.