Downfall | ✔️

Chapter 22.

"That's amazing." I tell her, my heart warmed. They already have a daughter, she's three and I absolutely adore her. They always wanted two kids, they struggled to get pregnant and now they're expecting their second baby. I'm so happy for them both, especially Carol. My mom said growing up she had always wanted kids, a girl and a boy. Now she has her girl, and another baby on the way.

"Are you still coming down for the weekend?" she asks and I mentally face palm.

"Uh.. I'm not sure, I'll let you know." I tell her, pretending that I've considered it. I completely forgot she even offered. I agreed to go when Mason and I were in a bad place, and now I don't want to be away from him, even if it is just for three days, I sound so clingy it makes me cringe to myself.

"I have homework to do homework, Mason is going to sit with me." I tell her and she looks at me inquisitvely as if she was considering it for a second, considering whether to believe me.

"Okay." she says grudgingly.

Mason follows me to my room as I take out my notes and my half finished essay. He sits himself next to me on my bed, as opposed to last time when he sat on the bean bag. It makes me happy he's comfortable enough to sit closer, although I hope it doesn't prove to be a distraction. I begin to write and I notice Mason leaning over slightly to read as I write, he is innocently reading my essay and all I can think about is how close he is to me. Why can I never think when he's near me?

"That's confusing." he says, scratching his head as he tries to read my paragraphs.

"Not really. It's really interesting." I say and he rolls his eyes.

"You sound like Matt." Mason shakes his head and I narrow my eyes.

"Stop being so mean to Matt, and you'd like it if you understood." I tell him.

"Explain it to me." he says, at first I thought he was joking, but he genuinely wants to know.

"Okay.. well, it's all about thought experiment. The biggest and most well known example is the Nozick's experiment machine." I tell him excitedly and notice his confusion grow.

"Basically, it's like a strange version of virtual reality. It's the theory that if he created a machine, like a tank that you could connect to, and believe you're living an experience which you aren't, like a virtual reality machine. You could do anything really. Write a best selling novel, win the Olympics, see anybody you couldn't in real life. You could do anything. But it wouldn't really have happened. He says that it could mimic any social or physical pleasure." I notice him grow more interested as I continue, although he doesn't want me to notice.

"But.. his conclusion is that we wouldn't do it, because as a society we want our actions to be authentic and real, to make a difference in our actual lives, when in reality, whatever we did in this machine, would never have happened. He shows that pleasure isn't the only thing that matters to us, we crave authenticity." I conclude and his eyes are wide.

He pauses for a second.

"What a load of bullshit." he scoffs and I raise my eyebrow. Not the response I was expecting.

"It is not bullshit. He's right. What's the point in doing something if it didn't actually happen? Winning a race with no medal to show for it. Writing a novel for nobody to read or know it existed. To meet someone and have them never know about it once you're disconnected from wires. It's all about the impact in reality. Why do something through a machine when you haven't accomplished anything at all?" I argue with him and he shakes his head.

"You're thinking too small. You're being narrow minded." he says and I almost interject, but he continues.

"Writing a novel? Of course that's the fucking example you would use." he chuckles.