Floating On Ice

That last time

You were there–
A light foundation, scarlet
Lipstick, thin eyeliner. 
Hair, still very short.

I had never seen your cold face so clearly. 
Six years of glancing at it
Fell short of the fantasy glimpse.
You’re beautiful. Why didn’t I ever know?
A soul of music is too pure for this,
Too much like a watery glass,
A yielding ice, both strong and gentle.
What happened to me? How did I fail to see this,
How did I fail to understand this?

It is only in my dreams 
That I can see you again–
Dreams chase reality, and the reality
Chases the dreams away–two dragons
At each other’s spiked tails–
And they come back to set flame
To the alcohol. And again, 
And over again, I watch 
The sea douse it out on the sand.

I must be going crazy.
To ask anything more would be folly.
I cannot accept any cures, but I cannot
Accept this fluid hell.
How did it come to this?