give in to me

Sitting On Top Of The World

For months after that dinner, Michael had avoided Aria at every given opportunity. He changed his phone number, he blocked her calls, he insisted that his security guards not let her into his house. And Ari, bless her soul, tried so hard to fix things with him. God knows she tried.

As much as Ari hated to admit it, she knew that the bitter turn that their relationship had taken was her fault. She knew that she was to blame, and she felt awful about it. She was distant, and she was always hiding her true emotions. The truth was that she was afraid. She was afraid of being hurt, of being vulnerable. Michael had been the only person to get close to her. He almost had her heart. Almost. But she wasn't ready. As soon as she felt things starting to get serious, she would start to shut him out.

-

"Baby, please. Tell me what I did. What did I do?"

Ari turned away from him, her arms crossed. Michael placed a gentle hand on her bare shoulder. "Babe? Come on. Talk to me. Please."

He didn't see the tears welling up in her eyes and spilling over her cheeks. She bit her lip, trying to stifle her crying. He couldn't know that he'd gotten to her. She had to be strong. She couldn't show him that she had feelings, or that she cared. That meant vulnerability. That meant commitment. Two things that she feared. She brushed his hand off of her shoulder and sat up in the bed. She reached for her sun dress, pulling it on.

Michael grabbed her arm. "Woah. Hey. What are you doing?"

She shook him off again, and finished putting on the dress. "I'm leaving."

Michael sighed his familiar frustrated sigh. "What? Why? Where are you going?" His questions fired at her one after the other like bullets, and she dodged each one.

She stood up, slipping her feet into her heels. "I'll call you."

"Why do you always do this? You always leave when things are just starting to be... good between us. What is wrong with you? Why can't you see that I want you? Why can't you see that? You're the only person that I want and you're always-"

"Leaving." Ari cut him off. She turned around to face him. "You're right. I'm leaving. I'll call you."

She walked out of the door and shut it behind her, leaving Michael sitting on the bed (again, this has happened so many times before) confused.

-

After that dinner, Aria realized too late that she had fucked up. She went home that night and got drunk alone in her apartment, and only then did she realize that he was right. She did love him. She only wished that she had told him sooner. But maybe, just maybe, it wasn't too late. Maybe she could get him back. So she tried. She chased him. She went to his house- his security guards wouldn't let her in, no matter how hard she tried. She called him, but his number was different. She got his new number and tried that one, but he had blocked her number from his landline. She called his friends, she called his parents, even. She called and called and continued to bombard him, but finally she realized that it was too late. He didn't want to see her anymore. She realized what this meant. It was exactly what she was afraid of. He was tired of trying with her. He was trying to move on. But she wasn't ready to move on. She wasn't ready at all.
-
Tuesday, August 30th, 1988. Los Angeles, California.

9 am.

Aria was puzzled. She'd received a call from Michael last night. It was the first time he'd reached out in over a year, and yet when she picked up, he didn't say anything. When she called him back, he hung up quickly. But she knew it was him. Who else would call that late, and on his birthday, at that. She knew him better than he realized she did.