Ode to Remedy

Act XIII

Markus lifted his hand to his lips, and tipped it to allow the pills to spill into his expectant mouth, but nothing ever entered. He stared at the pills in his hand, but didn't tip his hand. He found nothing in himself to. He couldn't do it. He couldn't.

Markus suddenly threw the handful onto the ground, causing the pills to bounce and scatter across the hardwood floor. Valentine stared at him, his wide eyes suddenly grew dark with the most intense sorrow and anger Markus had ever seen in him before.

"I knew it," He hissed, his voice brimming with animosity. "I knew you'd fucking lie."

"Valentine-" Markus started, just before Valentine tried to rip his hand from Markus's grasp. Markus quickly caught Val's wrist and tightened his grip as securely as he could, jerking him forward. Fear flashed in Val's eyes for a split second and he spun around, attempting to regain control of his arm again. He let out a desperate cry. Markus threw an arm around his waist and pulled him against his front, restricting him from sprinting off. Val shouted and struggled to free himself from his restraint, kicking and lashing.

"Val, stop!" Markus snapped, dodging Val's thrashing arms to the best of his ability.

"You stop!" He wailed. Valentine froze for a moment, staring at his other clenched fist. Both he and Markus realized what he possessed behind those whitened fingers at the same time, and Markus hurriedly reached for it with one arm while holding Valentine and his arm with his other.
Valentine began kicking at Markus's legs once more despairingly. He was desperate for anyway to escape Markus's grasp, but Markus ignored the pain that flared in his limbs that would eventually tatter and bruise his skin. Val raised his hand and threw his head back, pouring each one of the tiny pills into his mouth. The blood pumping in Markus's veins suddenly became ice as frantic fear slithered into his body. He reached up and seized Valentine's arm out of the air and dug his nails into the skin of his wrist.

A million panicked thoughts all entered his head at the same time. He did the first thing that came to his mind with no available arms, for they were occupied with holding back his wrestling partner, and took the back of Val's collared shirt in his teeth and jerked back. Valentine's fighting grew more aggressive with this act, but was quickly followed with coughing and sputtering.

"M-Mark-" He gasped, his thrashing movements suddenly losing hostility when Markus pulled tighter. "I can't b-breathe!"

Markus held Valentine like this until his limbs went almost fully limp. Despite how hard it was to do this to Valentine, he could not let him swallow the pills. He didn't even know if was successful or if Valentine had already consumed them, but he prayed to God he didn't. He had already made his decision that he would no longer be joining Val in this attempt. He couldn't. He had no idea how he could go on living knowing Valentine despised him when he died. If he died, Markus corrected himself, forcing himself to have faith.
Markus let go of his tautened arm around Val's waist and let him collapse on the floor, expecting him to catch himself. Val fell onto his chest and began choking once oxygen returned in his system. Markus fell to his knees on the floor beside Val, for he no longer needed to wrestle him to keep him still, and buried his face in his palms.

"Did you swallow them?" Markus asked after a long pause, waiting for Val to regain his breathing pattern.

Valentine pushed himself to sit up, his slender shoulders heaving with pants. He opened his mouth as if to snap at Markus in a retort, but he closed it and nodded solemnly.

"Val, I wasn't trying to choke you," Markus said, his voice cracked as he became overwrought by his failed attempt. "I was only trying to prevent you from-" He cut himself off with a pant and pressed his hands into his face. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you."

Valentine only nodded, as if he were not able to speak. He seemed slightly stunned himself, as if he had only swallowed the pills to spite Markus. Maybe he hadn't yet accepted his fate so as Markus fearfully believed. But that didn't reassure him anymore. Markus began to falter.

"Please speak, Val, please. I need to know you're okay."

Valentine shook his head, and when Markus began to lose hope, he spoke. "I'm so scared, Markus." He let out a breath, not meeting his eyes. "I'm so terrified of death, and now I'm facing him alone."

"Don't say that, not yet." Markus stood, his legs trembled with each step he took, and he scooped Valentine up in his arms and heaved him to the couch, where he lay Val's wavering body. He rested Val's head on a cushion and perched on the armrest just across from him, examining the way his chest moved with his breathing very closely. Those words pierced Markus with such sharp pain like nothing else ever had. He briefly called nine-one-one.

"If I die," Valentine quivered, staring up at the ceiling once Markus returned from the phone, "I realize how selfish I was to ask you to take your life for me. During my previous night of delirium, I convinced myself to believe the most untrue things, and I'm sorry I've ever doubted you once."

Markus began to weep. "Please, stop speaking like that."

"But it's true!" He said. A sorrowful smile found its way onto his face. "I want you to live on, find happiness, like the some you had back in high school." He then chuckled. "Remember?"

Markus's silent tears escalated into sobs. He took Val's hand in his and squeezed, as if he were trying to capture the warmth of his soft palm.

"No, I don't want you to cry every time you recall me." Val continued. "I want you to recall our fondest memories and find joy in that. Maybe find love again in the future, I promise, you don't have to reserve the remainder of your life for me."

"Valentine," Markus managed to say through convulsive whimpers. Val's calmness frightened Markus so much.

"I'd never be mad at you." Val smiled, his eyes fluttering closed. Markus squeezed his hand tighter, bringing it to his lips. Valentine trembled so violently. "Hey, Markus," He said. "Do you mind getting me a cup of water?"

Markus watched Valentine closely. He stood, despite how much he wanted to refuse to leave his side, and wondered. Was Valentine trying to protect him from the sight of him slipping away? Tears trickled down his face and he smiled. He turned and left the room to prepare a cup of water from the kitchen, becoming overwrought with struggling acceptance.

The world had turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. The taste. The smell. Everything was gone. The last painful emotion slammed against Valentine before he lost the feeling of feeling.
Everything darkened into nothingness as waves of opaque washed over him, drowning him under the surface of unconsciousness.

And sure enough, when Markus returned to the living room once again, Valentine lay limp against the pillow he rested upon.