Its a Wednesday and you just got home from the job that my sister got you.. yet again. The first message I got from you today was a screenshot of someones snap chat name, already assuming the worst.. like you always do. Then once I told who it was you still went and deleted him...even though he was my family and I can't even be mad because that leads to more questioning and more anger and even bigger fights, so I shut my mouth and just let it happen. I just let it all happen because I love you.. but I'm getting so tired of the pointless jealousy. Your actions literally make me feel like the scum of the earth. I know I fucked up once around your birthday, but I never lied to you about it. I told you the truth and why I went ahead and followed back the one person you hate the most. We've been together almost two years and yet you still have to control every aspect of my life. I just feel so lost in our relationship, or at least in this part of our relationship. I love you so fucking much that it kills me inside to even have to feel like this. I feel that even though we have bad times... our good outweighs that... right? You always call me a liar, you pin me against myself.. I hate myself so much and that okay because I can't love anybody else.. you literally have sucked all of the love out of me and some part of me finds that so exhilarating but now I am starting to see that maybe this fairy tale wasn't meant to be.
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Where my Thoughts go to Die
RandomA bunch of chapters of thoughts, poems and rambling. Mostly did this as an outlet of self expression but oh whale, other people might be going through the same things... who knows.
