He had honey brown eyes, The softest hair you would ever see and a laugh that can bring a million butterfl- no a WHOLE zoo to your stomach. I felt like I knew everything about him while knowing absolutely nothing about him.We've known each other for 10 years and haven't talked to each other in 6. Even though we were young and foolish I knew something was there and that "thing" still follows. The small gestures, our eyes unexpectedly finding each other in a crowd and the universe putting us in each other's path.
I desired him.Saying those things out loud make me sound like a crazy girl but you know what they say "Love makes you crazy" but i don't want this. I've seen him through the 10 years having multiple girlfriends, them enjoying his company and affection but not one of them staying.
His thoughts come travelling back to me.I want to let go, not be his anymore but I can't. I'm broken. I'm under a spell to only love him. I see no flaw and I see no other boy. My heart is so attached I know for sure I'll be thinking about him when I'm old and with another boy.
To sit in the arms of another and to sit in the thoughts of another.Oh boy, I want you to break my heart. I want you to kiss me hard and soft, make me feel emotions I've never felt. I want you to tell me that you love me. I want you to make love to me. I need to laugh, cry and scream with you. I want you to make me feel like this forever...
I see him again today out of the blue. It's 4:17 am at the 24/7 campus store in the cereal isle. All the feelings rushing back in like a flood, the zoo from earlier joining me accompanied by a marching band. I continue to walk, my heart on a mission, my body erupting with goosebumps.
I need to do this for once and for all, I need to set peace within myself.
His gorgeous face turning to the noise of my feet hitting the floor. I see a smile forming on his lips, a slight blush covering his cheeks.
It's now or never I think to myself.
I nervously smile back accompanied with a small wave. My pace steady . I reach to him, his smile and blush still present. My face so close to him that only our breaths were heard. With all the strength within me I get myself to gently grab his face and prop myself up on my tippy toes, my eyes close as my lips close the distance between us.
I kiss him.
The feeling of rough, warm lips against my soft ones made all the previous nervousness disappear, replacing them with fireworks. I felt time slow down, his hand coming in contact with my hips, hugging me tightly. Him and I, Us, standing in the middle of isle 9 kissing each other like nothing else exists. We pull away breathless, looking into each other's eyes for something. Not one word spoken from our swollen lips.In that moment I knew this was meant be, this is us.