I ALMOST SAW A GHOST TODAY.
It started off as a dreadful morning.
Nervous kisses from my parents. Waking up extra early. The feeling of everyone else's stress lingering in the air around.
Stressing over me, and who I might disappoint. How I might disappoint myself.
It was funny, though, how little I cared about the SATs. How much they did. It gave me a strange feeling. The same kind of feeling you would get if everyone was stepping outside, staring as aliens were taking over the Earth, and I decided to sleep in and watch TV.
I felt a little guilty, though, as if I were letting someone down. But what I did shouldn't matter to my family. It was what mattered to me. I was blowing something important off, and that may or may not have been my mistake. It was something that I was going to take myself.
I tried to leave the house as early as I could- the more the worries, the more the guilt. I thanked myself for usually not speaking about what was on my mind, because if I did, this one would have been a hard one to take. But of course, it was just my family telling me how THEY wanted me to do great, and how great I was going to do.
I didn't plan out how the day was going to go- all of my friends 'care about their futures.'
But something strange hit me, I couldn't tell if it was my feelings or if it were my instincts, but the moment the engine of my car came to life, I knew exactly where I wanted to go.
Before I really thought about it, I was stopping my car behind an old cafe that was less than a mile away from the school. After a small walk down, I found myself kicking the loose gravel out from the sides of the railroad track that ran through a small set of woods.
It was just how I left it three years ago- a dewy smell lingered the humid air, crunchy grass and sticky flies.
Definitely old, abandoned, and unflattering, but at the same time something wasn't completely disgusting about it?
I began to walk along, recalling my mainly uneventful memories of freshman year. Ash. She was usually quieter than most, but I was a little taken aback when she didn't say a word about moving.
Although Ash was a mostly forgotten part of my past, I had still wondered a few times about what happened the night before she left. It was probably the most drunk I have ever been, considering that it was my first time. But still, I'm usually the kind of person who doesn't deal with hangovers.
As the town started to thin out a little, I wondered if I should turn back or continue to walk. The emptier my surroundings were, the stranger the feeling in my stomach began to grow. I continued to walk, though.
After a few minutes of silence, something caused me to stop in my tracks. An old brick building with sunken-in walls, and a blood-red light that flickered the last "S" in "GAS," which peaked over a distance, vast emptiness spreading out from behind it.
I didn't want to walk any further. Even the thought of the cashier remembering me sent a lump down my throat. I could picture an old man inside, pinning pictures of us on the wall over the poorly scribbled word, "bAnned." The old man remembered us without a doubt, knowing how little of customers he probably got in such an abandoned area.
Thinking about that area sent me a chill down my spine. As I was spinning my heel to turn around and walk back, I saw something from the corner of my eye. A tall, pale figure. Skinnier than usual. For a split second, my heart had almost leaped through my throat and slid out of my mouth, but as I realized who the figure was I calmed down.
Kurt Adams.
A kid from my school, someone I have had a few conversations with, yet never payed much attention to. Though I admit, I was slightly perplexed when he wasn't at school or taking the test. He tried and quitted a few sports and clubs, yet he was just too tall for football, too skinny for basketball, and too dumb for debate team. He seemed like the kind of person who would take any opportunity he could get.
I squinted at him, his stick-like body backed against a few pale-colored dumpsters behind a building. We made eye contact, and to my surprise, he waved at me.
I flashed him an awkward smile, but the eye contact didn't break. He quickly beckoned me over, so I lightly jogged towards him.
"Ditching school, I see, I see..." He sarcastically shook his head, and I noticed he placed an unlit cigarette in between his pale lips.
"Could say the same to you," I rolled my eyes, keeping a light face. I nodded towards his face, "you never came off to me as the kind who smoked."
He laughed, "I only do it during break." He gestured towards his name tag, which draped over his loose collared shirt.
ADAM.
"You have work?" I asked, slightly confused, "but it's a Wednesday and a school day?"
He let out an even louder chuckle, and I began to doubt myself, "I graduated last year."
I could feel a spread of heat flood through my cheeks, but I didn't let that get to myself. It's hard to embarrass yourself in front of Kurt Adams anyways. "My bad, I figured you didn't have enough math credits." My only class with him was Junior year, Algebra II. He would always sit in the back, struggling to figure out the answers a little more than he should have.
His elbow poked against my arm, "be quiet, you were just ahead a little."
"Mmmmhh..." I gave him a little poke back, "Anyways, I gotta go, catch ya later Adams."
He gave me a light wave goodbye as I started to walk down the tracks. Each step felt a little uneasy, as I felt his eyes on me from behind my back.
Walking while knowing someone was watching was always something that was awkward for me. I would find myself taking baby steps, speeding up, slowing down, taking strides. I found myself taking
"Dani..."
The voice was quick, so it was hard to tell who's it belonged to. I assumed it was Kurt's, but when I turned around his back was facing mine, and he was hunched over.
"Yeah?"
No response.
"Kurt?"
His tall figure shifted, and I watched him take a drag of his cigarette as he passed me a confused expression, "you still here?"
"Did you not just say my name?"
The last thing I remember from that day was Kurt's face dropping, turning white, his eyes sparked out with fear. He took another drag then turned back around.
