One in a Million

No turning back

"Who wants to order some chicken?" It's already in the evening when the boys come back to the dorm, they did their fitting and talked about some stuff with the director for the music videos and so far, everything looks pretty well organized. Of course Yeosang would be the first one to raise his arm after Hongjoong asked who would want some chicken but the others are also down for it. While everybody gathers to decide on what kind of chicken to order, Wooyoung goes to his room to put his phone to charge. Just as he is about to turn and go back to the others, he remembers your message. So he stops and looks back at his phone, hesitates only a second while taking a quick glance at the door, then he picks up his phone to turn it on. While he is standing there, waiting, he starts biting his thumbnail out of nervousness. "Come on.." he mumbles quietly and when his phone finally turned on, he sees the 1 on the Instagram icon. His heart starts beating faster, another glance at the door. Should he open it..? He promised San to just delete his account and this app, but...He starts tappin with his feet, just staring at the icon. His thumb is moving and just as he wants to tap on the app, Jongho enters the room. "Hyung? The others are asking for you, we want to order chicken." Wooyoung flinches and turns. "Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm coming." Jongho leaves and goes back and Wooyoung looks at his phone again, internally cursing before he locks his phone and puts it under his pillow. Then he follows Jongho to help the others decide.

Around an hour later, the chicken has arrived and all eight are sitting together at the kitchen table, feasting and talking, only Wooyoung seems kind of out of it. He keep nibbling on one piece of chicken bone for almost ten minutes now, just staring at the table. San, sitting across, can't help but watch him, knowing what he must be thinking of. "Wooyoung, can you please look at the cleaning plan behind you who is in charge of dishes today?" Seonghwa asks but Wooyoung doesn't respond. "Wooyoung?" he repeats but still nothing. San looks at him and roughly nudges his leg with his foot under the table. Wooyoung looks up, looks at San and then at the others that are all staring at him. "What?" Seonghwa sighs. "The cleaning plan. Who is in charge of the dishes today?" Wooyoung turns his head around to look at the plan hanging at the wall right next to him. "Oh, Mingi and Yeosang." "What? That can't be, I had to do the dishes two days ago!" Mingi says and Hongjoong gets up to look at the plan himself. "It's Jongho and Yeosang. Wooyoung, what is wrong with you today?" he asks, standing right behind him. "With me? I'm fine, why?" Wooyoung replies, looking over his shoulder at Hongjoong. "Where are you right now? You look like you're mentally somewhere else." San looks from Hongjoong down to Wooyoung and takes a deep breath. He's not going to say anything. But he  knows what's up. "I'm just tired, okay? Sorry." Wooyoung sounds a little annoyed by now and decides to get up, almost hitting Hongjoong with his chair. "I'm going to bed, good night." he simply says and leaves the table and with it, the kitchen to the bathroom, getting ready for bed.

"Okay does anybody know what the hell is wrong with him lately?" Hongjoong asks, after he took a step back to not get hit by the chair before Wooyoung left. His eyes mainly focus on San who is just looking into the circle, acting as if he knows nothing while the desire to just say anything burns in his chest. He want to save Wooyoung from getting too deep into this shit but also, he doesn't want anybody to know because it could blow up and kill his career and their friendship. Hongjoong sighs after no one had to say anything and sits down on Wooyoungs chair, taking another drumstick of the chicken and nibbling on it while his eyes wander to San over and over again who still is acting like he knows nothing. How can it be that his best friend doesn't know anything? Something's fishy here.

After Wooyoung laid down in bed, he took his phone, finally able to check your message. Just as before, he stares at the icon for a whole minute, not sure if he really should go down this rabbit hole. He knows exactly, once he opens your message, once he sees that you really texted him, there will be no turning back. He would have to reply. His heart would force him to do so. But what should he say? He can't just say that it's him. And even if he did, you wouldn't believe him. His thoughts keep spinning in his head, almost making him feel dizzy. Yes? No? Right? Wrong? Oh, it's hella wrong, he knows it very well. But still...His heart is pounding, screaming to get in touch with you but his head, his mind tell him to not do it. It's just a tug of war. Telling you? Not telling you? He runs his fingers through his hair and lets out a deep sigh. Then he just decides, without thinking about it, to open your message. His hands are shaking. 'Hey, who are you? :)' His heart is beating up to his throat as he is reading this one little message over and over again. What to do? He bites his lip and squeezes his eyes for a second. To reply or not to reply? Lying? Being honest? So many questions and no matter what he goes for, everything will be a mistake at some point. If he said just anything like "I don't know, I just found your profile", would you keep talking to him? Would you respond? Would you think he is just some kind of creep and block him? Because let's be honest: He has no profile picture, no posts, he doesnt follow anybody but you and has no followers himself. Who the hell would talk to someone like that? Okay, so lying drops out as an option. What remains is not responding at all and delete the account or being honest? Wooyoung massages his temples for a moment and takes a deep breath. You probably won't even respond to him anyways after, right? Because again: Who would talk to somebody like that? And who would believe him? His hands still shaking, he taps on the text bar and starts typing. 'I need your promise to keep quiet about it. I mean it. It's extremely important to not let anybody know.' He would like to text something sweeter, something cute but he has to make sure that he can trust you and you are willing to listen to him. Which makes no sense at all since he doesn't even really know you but still...  He stars at you chat for a minute. Two minutes. Almost three minutes later, still not a sign that you read his message. Should he delete it again before you actually see it? He is just about to do so, when in last second, he decides not to. If this isn't a hanging matter... He locks his phone and rolls onto his back, staring at the ceiling. This was such a bad idea. He knows it. But is he going to undo it? No. His desire to find you is bigger than his sense of rational thinking. Minutes pass and his heartbeat slows down, his eyelids get heavier and heavier when they finally close. Just as he is about to pass out, his phone vibrates, indicating that he got a message. His eyes shoot open and his heart drops, he grabs his phone and looks at the lockscreen first. A new message from you...He swallows and unlocks his phone. 'What are you talking about? You are weird.' He looks at your message with an opened mouth and just as he wants to tpe something, another message from you comes in. 'So if you don't mind, I will block you now. Bye.' Wooyoungs upper body dashes up into a sitting position while his heart is about to jump out of his chest. 'No wait!' he writes. 'I know four facts about you.' he then adds. 'Facts that I hope you only told me.' His fingers are sweaty and his whole body is shaking. Is there still a turning back? 'What facts are you talking about?' you ask, about to lose your patience. You have absolutely no idea who is trying to kid you. Not knowing that, while you are sitting in this café right now, you are texting with this one man that makes your heart jump everytime you see him on the screen, sitting on his bed right in this moment. Wooyoung stares at his phone, thinking if he really should go this far. If he really should reveal himself. This. Is. So. Stupid and dangerous. He bites his lip, just staring at the screen,  contemplating his decisions. Just as he wants to type something, he hears Yeosangs voice infront of the door. "Yes, see you tomorrow, good night!" Before Yeosang even entered the room, Wooyoung already laid down again, pretending to be asleep, since he lied to the others about just being tired. His phone is placed next to his pillow, just as every night. With quiet steps, Yeosang walks across the room, heading to his own bed after he closed the door. Ugh, what is this timing?! Wooyoung opens one eye, looking over to Yeosang who is making himself comfortable in his bed, playing on his phone a little. Internally cursing, Wooyoung closes his eye again, nervous you might block him over night if he doesn't reply. Damn it! But before he can think about it much further, the stress of this day takes over him and drags him into a deep sleep just minutes later.