Afterglow • [fivesos]

illusions • 1

I wasn't a bad kid.

A bad kid is the one that always has to cause trouble. Gain attention.

The one who would stop at nothing to make others miserable because it made them feel 'alive'.

That wasn't me. I wasn't a bad kid.

But I wouldn't say I was good either.

Nobodies perfect right? Wrong. Apparently.

My parents constantly tell me to clean up my act. Perfect is something I must 'strive for'.

Perfect is an illusion. It's false, fake. It gives people the idea that if they haven't reached the heights of perfection then they are good for nothing.

This illusion, makes us crazy.

And I won't give in. I won't give in to that idea and any other ideas that involve being what anyone but myself wants me to be.

My favourite thing to do lately, was to drive somewhere, anywhere. Which was easy living in England. So here I am. 2am, sitting on the roof of my car, in the middle of nowhere. I should be scared, but the stars and my thoughts are what's replacing fear.

If it was my choice I'd stay here. But apparently having things my way all the time was also an illusion, and that it 'won't be happening for as long as I live under my parents roof'. I was 17, and if I had the money and somewhere to go. I would have been out of there by now.