Well hey there. To start off, be patient. I'm doing this for me, not for you. Honestly, I don't think you deserve all of my sleepless nights and bursts of tears. Let alone an entire album dedicated to you. No, this is dedicated to me. For whatever reason, I must have really loved you, huh. And that needs to change. It's changed for you and I need it to change for me too, so I can finally fucking move on. I guess I should start off by saying;
Once upon a time, in a land 25 minutes away, a naïve girl thought she could love and be loved too. She fell in love with the bad boy, as she had done so many times before. But this time, he loved her back. She craved the adventure, the adrenaline, the high. She became addicted and reliant on his love. It wasn't his fault, for he could not change his nature. But neither could she. She thought they were invincible. She had given everything up for him. She had laid her soul on the alter, exposing the worst parts of herself. But she was foolish and forgot that love is a two way street and wasn't bothered when he didn't expose his soul in return. As time went on, the two made many great memories, she got the chance to do things she had never done before. But she was so blinded by her pink glasses of romance that she refused to fight, even when it meant standing up for herself. She let herself get attacked by words that cut like razors. "It's nothing you haven't handled before" she would tell herself. She let herself get beat down by names because she liked to believe she was strong. But the truth that she would never accept is this; he made her weak. From his lopsided smile, to every scar on his arms, every action he made, made her weak and vulnerable. When the day came where he had to say goodbye, she was flung into denial. She blamed only herself, her looks, her actions, her lack of confidence. She was a failure. She had failed him, and she had failed herself. Everyone but her knew that was a lie. Then that took her down this dark path of loneliness. She was in unfamiliar territory where the only things she knew was where her past lover had lived, and where he took her on their adventures. Everything hurt. Everything was a reminder of the life she tried so hard to hang on to. But here is where her story changes. This is the part where she finds her voice, and no matter how late, she fights for herself. She discovers her importance and figures out what she needs to do to move on.
That brings us back to here. I'm finding my voice and I sure as hell am going to use it. I ask only one thing. That you listen. I don't need a response, I don't need an apology, I don't need a rebuttal. All you have to do is listen and read.
