The Death Eater with a Choice

Please

So, lot's of Drarry and even more angst. Hope you like it.

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Draco's POV

"You're not eating. Are you sick?" Pansy asked and while she lovingly stroke Draco's arm.

He almost didn't hear her. He felt awful. He had been so stupid. If his father could see him now. He was probably happy to be locked up in Azkaban, just so he didn't have to know about his failure of a son. 

He had done so well. He hadn't spoken to Harry... or Potter, since their firth year and now. He had actually kissed him. Why? He didn't even remember.

He cast a glance over at the Gryffindor table. Harry sat in the middle of Granger and Weasley, but he didn't eat. His two friends were looking worriedly at him, but he was gone in thoughts. Draco blushed and looked down. Why had he done it? He had felt so awful after what he had accidently done to Katie Bell and he had felt dizzy and Potter had been so angry at him. He didn't like it when he was mad at him. He closed his eyes at the thought. He couldn't be thinking like that.

"Draco" Pansy said with a pout.

He sighed and looked up at her. "You're not hungry?".

"Not really".

He stood up and ignored her calls after him. He had to go work on the cabinet. He had to succeed in this.

-------Time Skip---------

Draco felt out of breath, like he was going to faint. He had not only failed again, but now she was still alive, which meant she could tell people? He looked at Katie Bell who stood and talked with Potter in the Great Hall. Draco could feel his heart race in his chest. His palms got sweaty and his legs shook. It was like all the air in the room had been sucked out. He couldn't breathe. He was so stupid, so so stupid. He couldn't do anything right. He could feel his stomach turn and suddenly he regretted the apple he had eaten for breakfast. "Punishment, punishment, punishment", was all he could hear.

He almost gasped when Harry suddenly turned and looked directly at him. Draco looked around, frightened, before fleeing. He walked as fast as he could out the Great Hall. All he could think about was getting away. He needed to be alone. He felt like he was going to fall apart into a million small pieces. He needed to fall apart. He gasped for air and tried to loosen up his tie. He almost sighed in relief when the bathroom door finally came into view. He opened it and almost stumbled through the door and over to the sink. He placed both hands on its sides and looked down. He couldn't hold any of it in anymore. He had let his family down. He had let everyone down. He could feel his sobs tear him apart when the tears came streaming down his face. His chest hurt, everything hurt. He quickly pulled of his vest and tossed it on the ground.

He looked up in the dusty mirror and was faced with his own wide and starring eyes. But they were not the only eyes in the glass. He starred directly into another pair. He could feel his heart stop in his chest. Harry Potter had seen him. Harry Potter had seen him fall apart.

Harry's POV

Harry looked up. Draco stood in the other end of the Gryffindor table and looked at Katie Bell with wide eyes. Suddenly their eyes met and Draco's face got even more pale. Harry furrowed his brows when Draco quickly turned and walked, as fast as he could, out of the hall. "See you later" Harry quickly said to Katie and began pushing his way through students to follow the Slytherin. Draco seemed determined and in quite a rush too. Harry could see him turning around a corner ahead. Harry followed as quickly and as he could, more easy in these empty hallways. He kept as quiet as possibly. He hadn't succeeded in finding out what Draco was up to, that day at the lake, maybe today. He got surprised when Draco suddenly turned and almost kicked the door open to Moaning Myrtles bathroom. He carefully went over to the door and opened it so he could look inside. Draco stood over at the sinks with his back turned. Harry closed the door after him and looked at the other boy. Draco shook all over his skinny body and he quickly pulled of his sweater, like it was strangling him. Harry's heart sank when he heard the heart breaking sobs. Draco was crying. Really crying. Harry could see the tears streaming down on the pale cheeks. His breath came out in loud gasps and his hair was wild.

Suddenly Draco looked up in the cracked mirror and saw Harry lurking behind him. He quickly turned and tried to hide his crying. Harry felt so bad. He just wanted to go hug the slim boy he unfortunately still cared so deeply for. He wanted to chase the sad, blank expression away from the boy's eyes, but he couldn't. He had to know what Draco was up to. He knew this was serious and he couldn't just let it go. "what's wrong?" he asked and looked the pale boy in the eyes.

Draco bit his lip and looked away. "Leave me alone Potter".

Harry could feel his heart break a bit when he heard his name spat out like that, but he ignored it. "Don't pretend Malfoy" Harry said.

Draco wasn't the only one who could play this game. If he wanted to go back the old habits of last names, Harry could do that. "I know you're up to something. I know you have been the whole year and I'm pretty sure it's something stupid".

Draco looked angrily up. "You have no idea" he whispered.

Harry also got angry now. Why did he have to do this? It was exactly like firth year. Sometimes he was scared and shared his feelings, other times he was cold and harsh. Harry knew who Draco really was and it wasn't this mean boy. Why did he have to act like this? "Do you want to be as your father? Is that it? Are you still afraid to make him mad?"

Draco eyes narrowed. "Shut up Potter" he snerred silently.

Harry didn't care. This was exactly like at the lake. Their story was on repeat, on and on again, and he was sick of it.

"You're pathetic. Do you want to be one of Voldemorts servants? Then just kill me. Is that what you want?!" Harry yelled.

Draco's eyes widened in shock for a moment before he again got himself under control. "Shut up" he said again, his voice cracking.

"I'm going to find out. I hope you know that. I'm going to stop you" Harry said.

He could feel tears in his eyes, but he fought them back. Draco turned back to the mirror, but then suddenly he turned back and swung his wand.

Harry only just managed to avoid the spell that Draco had cast. It collided instead with the wall behind him and blew the bricks apart. Harry also took out his wand and pointed it at Draco. The white spell also missed and destroyed the sinks just where Draco had been standing seconds ago. "I'm sure your master would be very delighted if you could bring him my head" Harry spat.

Draco froze at the words and Harry swung his wand again, using the few seconds of inattention. Draco's wand flew out of his hand. Harry caught it, while all pretenses left Draco's face. His face fell.

Harry felt like the bad guy, watching the boy stand unarmed in front of him, but he kept his face expressionless and lifted his wand again. "Tell me the truth".

Draco looked awful. He just starred at the wand in Harry's hand with a hopeless expression. He looked like someone who had given up. "You poisoned Katie Bell" Harry said, it wasn't a question.

Draco looked blankly at him. Harry was sure that he wasn't going to get an answer, but then the blond opened his mouth. "He's gonna kill my mother. He's...He's gonna kill me" Draco said, his voice was so small.

Harry sank a lump and shook his head. "You're a better person than this. I know you"

"I'm not the same person you knew".

Harry slowly took his wand down. Draco looked so exhausted that he didn't think he should expect any surprises from him. "I think you're exactly the same" he said.

He put his wand back in his pocket and took a step closer to the Slytherin, who just looked at him with dead eyes. "You're just as scared and confused as you were last year".

It wasn't meant as an insult, it was simply a statement. Draco looked down. Harry was glad he finally got some kind of respond. He could feel a slight hope flourish in his stomach. "You were not ready last time I asked you, but will you please", Harry's voice cracked slightly and he had to take a breath before he could continue, "Please let me help you".

Draco looked like he could cry. His eyes were watery and his lower lip trembled. "I hate you so much" he whispered shakily, but there was no actual hate to trace in his tone.

Harry chuckled, still fighting his own tears. What did Draco do to him? "Please".

Draco bit his lip, still fighting the tears like the Malfoy he was. Harry anxiously waited. "Please" he repeated.

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Thanks for reading