Until The Day I Die

Chapter 18

     I woke up to someone singing, and I felt a hand running through my hair and another hand tickling my arm. I didn't open my eyes because I knew who it was and wanted her to continue. She was singing "Silent Night" and singing it very beautifully. I had no idea Chloe could sing so well. I couldn't help but smile a bit, and she noticed.
     "Are you awake?" She asked
     I shook my head while smiling even bigger and she chuckled. She stopped playing with my hair and stopped singing.
     "No, don't stop," I said whining.
     She continued playing with my hair. "Baby, how long have you been here," she said quietly.
     "We came over after I got home from school."
     "Why?"
     That's when reality hit me. I didn't answer her at first, but when she asked, my smile completely disappeared and opened my eyes, and when she looked in my eyes, she figured it out.
     "D-Did they tell you?" She seemed a bit worried when she asked me that.
     I looked away from her and just nodded in response. I could feel the happiness in my body drift away, and the depression slowly rolling in. I felt like I was going to cry, but I tried my best not to this time.
     She wrapped her arm around my chest, still playing with my hair and soon began to cry. "Brandon, I'm so sorry."
     I couldn't hold my tears back after that and cried with her. I moved her arms away from me, completely picked her up off the bed and into my lap, and I wrapped my arms around her still crying.
     We calmed down after a little while, and she asked me if we could change the subject, so we did.
     "You said you came here after school. How was it?" She said with a small smile curving her lips.
     "Uh, well, I took my exams today, and I made A's on all of them."
     Chloe was so happy for me. Her jaw dropped and threw her arms around me. "OMG!! I'm so proud of you!! I knew you were smart enough!"
     I couldn't help but smile myself. I didn't think she'd freak out this much. It didn't seem like it was a big deal to me. "It's not that big of a deal," I said.
     She pulled away from my embrace and had a confused look on her face. "What do you mean? It's a huge deal. Don't you want to go to college and stuff? Don't you have a dream you wanna follow? If you're making grades like this, you could go anywhere, believe me."
     "I understand that, but I just don't know what I wanna do," I said. There was nothing I ever dreamed of doing. I never focused on my future life, and since I was half way through high school, I realized that I needed to figure out what my plan would be. I couldn't just stay at home my whole life. But I had no idea what I wanted to do.
     "You can go online and look for an occupation. There's hundreds of different things you can be. You could be a businessman, real estate agent, policeman, doctor, etc."
     A doctor was the only occupation I somewhat found interest in. I thought it was important to know things about the body's health. I didn't know what kind of doctor though. I decided I was going to talk to Mom or David about jobs when we got back home.
After talking and cuddling with Chloe, I said goodbye to her and her parents before heading back home.
     When we all walked through the door, I was going to ask Mom what a good job would be, but she was on the phone, so I asked David. Mom went into the kitchen, and David was sitting on the couch. I went up to him and asked him, "David, I was wondering what a good job for me would be."
     David looked up at me amused. "Well, what is it that you wanna do?"
     I just shrugged my shoulders.
     He sat up on the couch patting the seat next to him, gesturing me to sit down.
     "Chloe told me that if I'm making good grades, I can get into a good college, and if I can get into a good college, I can get a good job. I don't know what that is though." I seemed a bit stressed and confused trying to explain my situation. I didn't think David would understand, but he understood completely.
     "I know exactly what you mean. Finding a career can be very difficult and stressful. I didn't know what I wanted to do either, even after I graduated, but you gotta look around you; discover new things and see what interests you. What are some things that interest you?"
I was staring off into space thinking about what he asked me. "There's not much that I'm interested in."
David was quiet, letting me think for a little bit longer. He was very patient with my response, but I didn't want to take too long thinking about it. Then I got it.
"I like things that are important in life, the things we need to live and to make us happy." That's all I could really say to him.
"Well Brandon, what in your life is important to you? What makes you happy?" Before I said anything, he continued, "don't answer that out loud. Keep it to yourself for now, and just think about it."
I nodded my head in response. As I did, he got up from the couch and went down the hall towards the bathroom. I stayed where I was, and I did what he said. I thought about it.
The next day at school was the last day before we got out for Christmas break. Eli and I got our report cards and headed home. I stayed at his place that night since we hadn't hung out in awhile. We played an NBA video game. I actually liked it a lot. I didn't realize I was so competitive. I also didn't realize I was so good. I beat Eli four times. He got so aggravated and started yelling a couple times. I couldn't help but laugh at him.
"Who new you were so good at something you ain't done before," he said very frustrated.
"C'mon man, you made 14 shots. You even made all your free throws. You're not any worse."
"Whatever man, let's just do something else."
His grandma walked in the room right after he said that. "Would you boys like some cookies? I'm gonna make up a batch of cookies for dessert."
I've always loved her genuine smile and her positive attitude. I never once had seen her down or feeling blue. She always managed to keep a smile on her face and be kind to everyone. "How come she's always in a good mood? I've never seen her down."
"Yea, she always is in a good mood, but I mean, what else can she do?"
"What do you mean?"
"She's got nothing left to live for. All she has is me. Just me."
"I thought you had your grandpa too."
"No, he passed away six years ago. He died of a heart attack. He was on his way to work, and he was just a few days away from retiring, but when he was just casually walking, he collapsed," he started to tear up a bit, and his voice was starting to sound a little shaky, "and they couldn't revive him... I just wish I was there to say goodbye." He started crying at this point, and I pulled him into a tight hug, and he cried on my shoulder. After a minute, he continued, "The worst part of it all is that my grandma knew this was going to happen. She told him to stay home and rest, but he wouldn't listen."
I looked at the floor for a moment just letting those words sit, and when I looked back up, I saw Eli getting up and walking out of the room. I followed him, of course, to see what he was doing. He went into the kitchen and walked towards his grandma and gave her a big hug. I stepped back behind the wall, giving them some space.
"Grandma, can I just say I am thankful for you. I am thankful and so happy to have a grandma like you. Thank you for everything you've done for me and our family. You deserve the world for the hard work and love that you give to all of us. I appreciate you, and I love you."
"My dear, I love you too, and I am thankful for you too."
     They stood there hugging each other for a bit. I smiled looking at how happy Eli was with his loving grandma. It made me think about the grandma that I never met. Mom said that my grandma died from lung cancer at 31. She was smoking since childhood, and eventually met her fate. I never knew why I didn't know any of my family. I needed to ask Mom who they were and why I didn't know them.