6. Jennifer
He's giving my neck little kisses interrupted with bites. It all feels so sweet, but u g h, I'm more into hard touch so my hand impulsively pulls his hair. I guess he understood my needs (thank God) as his kisses turn into more passionate. I can already imagine all the hickeys he's just left there. Mmm, baby...
- Jennifer - he says.
- James - I hear myself whispering.
Why did he just said "Jennifer"? I thought only guys have that obsession to have us, girls, screaming their names while sex. Maybe it's because he's not inside yet... Or maybe...
I open my eyes immediately and start to breathe heavily. He's staring at me. In my bed. And then he takes a look at my hands which are grabbing the bedding. God, you're an idiot, Jennifer.
- What are you doing in my bed? - I leave the bedding and cough. - Did we...?
- You can be sure that if we did, you would remember. - he smiles a bit.
This is kind of funny how every guy thinks he's God in bed and when the thing is happening you have to focus so hard and remind yourself all the best porns you've ever watched, just to have a damn orgasm. But I like his confidence. And I like men who know what they want.
- Oh I bet - I laugh too. - But it doesn't explain how did you end up in my bed.
- Don't you remember like... Anything? - he stops smiling.
I just realised that I really don't... I don't remember the previous day. Everything what happened yesterday. I mean, there were these pigs at the corridor and then James came to help me and then...
- No, what should I remember?
He gulps.
- Something horrible happened yesterday.
12 hours earlier
- Where are you taking me? - my laugh echoes through the entire corridor.
I know I told him to surprise me but I didn't really expect him to grab my hand and run somewhere upstairs. Well, this is how a surprise feels like, Jennifer.
- Wait, I don't want you to see.
- What?!
He stops to run and turns to look at me. Then gives me that damn smile. Screw you, James! And then I see... The darkness. This motherfucker really tied something on my eyes!
- Hey! Take it off!
- Shhh! Do you trust me? - he takes me in his arms, wow.
- No!
- Well, I guess you don't have a choice now. - he does some more steps and then stands me. A slight breeze cares my back.
...
The view is absolutely breathtaking. We are on the roof and the landscape stretches straight up from the beach into the sea, everything is a little bit covered up with the fog. James is standing behind me, holding my hips like he would be afraid I might jump... Or just fall.
- Surprised? - he whispers and I feel his breath on my neck.
- Maybe. - you don't think I'm so easy, mr Nava.
We are standing like this for a while more, totally taken in by this view. James moves his hands down my hips and grabs my hand. Okay, I did not expect that. We barely know each other and I bet that if anyone saw us now, they would be sure we are a couple. I was about to hold his hand back when I realised that he's actually giving me something and closing my fingers so that "it" won't fall. I feel a little plastic bag. Oh god.
- Are you serious? - I turn to look at him.
- Surprise, surprise.
- I don't smoke! I mean, I used to but... - the last time I took this shit was with Diddy and it didn't finish in a good way. - From where do you even have it?
He gives me that fucking smile again.
- It's my weed, okay? Nothing dangerous.
- Yeah, tell me that you're also a dealer. - I laugh pretty sarcastic. He doesn't look like one at all.
- You know, we all need money to survive.
I can't help rolling my eyes. This is a fucking joke. First Diddy, now James. I really have luck for bad boys.
- So you basically took me here to make me high.
- Exactly! So I can rape you, you know - he laughs.
- Oh, and I thought you wanted me to remember that. - I give him one of these pervert sights but I seriously didn't mean to. And I should really control myself cause he might hope for something now as I see him looking at me like he could eat me anytime. (That's pretty exciting, tho).
- Okay, just give me that. - I open this little plastic bag and make a cigarette. He does the same thing.
...
I didn't even notice when the sun started to go down. We spent the whole day smoking, talking and laughing. My head feels so damn heavy but I don't care, I really had fun with him.
- So, one more? - he gives me another cigarette. And another smile.
- Jamesss! - I laugh and take it from him, but I honesty don't want to. He notices that.
- Come on, that's something else.
He takes the cigarette back from me and inhales it, then blows the air on my face. The mix of mint and weed beats me and it really smells so damn good. When did he even get so close to me?
- Mmm...
- Something special, just like you are - he adds, whispering. His lips are almost touching my ones.
I open my mouth a bit so he can put there the cigarette alone. And obviously, he does. It's really a different one. So much stronger, more intensive... But actually, what the hell is it?
- And? - he didn't take any distance from me, I even have the impression he's getting closer all the time. Oh my God, just don't kiss me now.
- I like it. A lot. - it's hard to say if I meant the cigarette or if I meant... Him.
He smiles. Again.
Looks down at my lips.
Moves hand on my back.
Pulls me closer.
Touches my...
- Oh! - a laugh. - So you broke our balls to have her only for yourself? - says, guess who? And stupid me thought this pig will leave me alone forever after what James did to him and his group of losers.
- Searching for more adventures?
James gets up pretty mad. Well, he was about to kiss me and this idiot interrupted him. I should maybe actually thank him. Not like I would mind, but I feel so high and no matter how amazing the kiss, sex or whatever after we had was, there's no way I would remember these moments. And I would truly want to...
- What is it? Weed? Damn it, I could've thought to first make her high and then rape her too.
- Yeah, sadly now you don't have anything to break her.
Since I broke his dick, ops. Leah would be so proud of me. She doesn't even know what she has missed.
- But I still have something to break your face. - baby boy boss apparently got his confidence back. The problem is we are on the roof and fighting here isn't the best idea.
- Ready for round 2 so? - he knows he would beat him again. But no, not here, not now.
- James, please... - my voice sounds so weak. Fucking weed.
- Your doll seems to be worried - the boy laughs. And then has his face punched.
- James!!! - I'm trying to scream, but even I can barely hear myself.
Everything looks so blurred but I can see them going closer to the edge as James's hitting his face.
- Stop it! - another try but he seems not to hear me. Like I wouldn't even be there. Like he wouldn't care to let me see all the blood. I know he saw me enjoying the scene when he beat these 6 boys, and okay, it even made me excited. But now things look too dangerous and he acts like I wouldn't exist. Like...
- God! Okay! Okay! Just stop! Stop!!! PLEASE! - he screams.
James stopped. Oh my God, they're so close to the... No, he wouldn't do that. He can be aggressive but let's not exaggerate.
- James! Leave him and come here! Come to me! - I sound like a desperate. Now I should be there and hold him not to fall, I should be there hugging him from behind. But I can't even get up. I can't even see. Can't even...
- AAAAAH!
...hear.
But somehow I did. I did hear.
...
- So he just... fell? - it took him an hour to tell me how we spent the last 12 hours. And it took another hour for me to handle it. I didn't the same.
- Yes, there was nothing I could've done... Nothing. If I didn't get mad then, if I listened to...
- Shhhh - I put a finger on his lips. Just an impulse. - This is not your fault, James.
- Jennifer, he's dead. He's dead because of me. Because I didn't stop him.
- No, ba... - watch your mouth, Jen. You maybe call everyone "baby" but it would have a whole different meaning if you said it in bed, looking straight in his eyes and caring his cheek. - No, James. It was an accident, okay?
But was it really? If I didn't get high, I could've stopped the whole fight... If...
I start crying. Crying like a little pathetic baby. God! I never cry! And especially not in front of someone who I spent one day with! I want to dry tears but his hands are already there, caring my face and removing all the tears I let out. For a second I want to push him and his hands away, but then I just sink my head in his chest, letting him cuddle me. I've never felt so powerless...
- It's gonna be okay - he whispers.
I want to scream in his face that it never will be, that I never will be. That we are the killers, we are guilty of his death. I want to shout and yell and...
But I don't have any forces, so I just fall asleep in his warm big arms.
