Did you ever leave?

4

I closed the door behind us and let out a breath.

'We're so fucked. Correction: I'm so fucked.'

'We'll do the secrets sharing, like he said. It'll be fine.'

I scrunched up my face. 'Secrets sharing?'

'There isn't a chance in hell that I'm spending a whole day with you, and I don't sing.'

I knew that Andrew hadn't been serious with his suggestions, but that might just work.

I put my finger to my mouth, thinking. 'If we do this, I'm making some rules.'

Grayson shrugged. 'Go for it.'

'Number one: we sit back to back.'

'That's so weird, why?'

'I don't know, I feel like it. It's less intimate. Number two: it's a game of truths, not a gossiping session. We each ask one question in a row and you have to answer with full honesty.'

'Okay, I can fuck with that. Anything else?'

We started walking back towards the hall.

'No lies and no double questions. I think that's about it.'

We sat down, spine against spine.

'Alright, I'll go first.'

'Okay,' I agreed.

'Ummm...did you really not know that I was your partner?'

'I didn't even consider you as an option. Did Eden know that you were on the show?'

'She still doesn't. Why don't you want me over at your apartment when you're there?'

'Is that a trick question?'

'No.'

'I don't want to hear your sex noises.'

'Is that the real reason?'

'I also didn't want to face you after Vegas. Why did you ask Eden to be your girlfriend a week after we got home?'

'I was mad at you and she wasn't the worst stress reliever.'

'Seriously?'

'It's honesty hour, remember? Did you ever really like me?'

'Of course, I did. I liked you a lot. Have you thought that all this time?'

'Kind of,' he mumbled.

I was taken aback.

'What are your hopes and dreams?'

'In what sort of way?' I asked.

'Do you want kids?'

I paused. 'I used to.'

'Why don't you now?'

'That's a double question. Where's your dream location?'

'Hawaii. Why don't you want kids now?'

'It's not that I don't want them, it's just not a possibility.'

'What do you mean?'

'It's a little personal, Grayson.'

'Isn't that the point?'

I didn't answer, fidgeting with a loose thread on my leggings.

'Milo.'

'I'm infertile.'

He didn't say anything for a while. 'Why didn't you tell me when we were together?'

'I didn't know.'

'When did you find out?'

'A month ago.'

'What caused it?'

'I'm pretty sure that's a quadruple question. My turn. Have you been faithful to Eden this whole time?'

'Yes.'

'Really?'

'I only cheated on her with you, and you know that that was different.'

I wanted to say 'and Amy' but I left it out.

'Do you know why you're infertile? Is it a disease?'

'It was the result of a procedure.'

'A procedure? What kind of procedures can you get that break your baby making equipment?'

'One that you don't research enough.'

'Was being a mom something that you wanted?'

My eyes found the ceiling and my view became watery. 'Yes.'

Grayson laced his fingers through mine and put the back of his head against my own. 'I'm sorry.'

'It's fine. I'm fine,' I said, wiping my face in case any tears had slipped out and standing. 'This has been great, but I need to go.'

'We only just started.'

'And now I'm finishing. That was enough.'

~•~

•Grayson•

She flew out of there like her ass was on fire. Things were getting really deep and I even got kind of caught up in it, but we were supposed to be bonding or something.

I wonder what she had had done.

Maybe plastic surgery that made her vagina look prettier. Or that thing that tightens your insides. But, from what I can remember, her vagina looked normal and her insides were plenty tight.

It was still playing on my mind when I met Eden for dinner that night, so I decided to ask her.

'Babe, what kind of things can make you infertile?'

'What do you mean?' she asked, laughing.

'I mean...surgeries, procedures. You know, things that you do to your lady parts.'

'The only thing that comes to mind is an abortion.'

I blinked. 'An abortion?'

'Yeah, if you get a bad one or a really cheap one, it can properly fuck you up down there.'

Oh my god.

Did Milo get an abortion?